Rabbit Hole
by VenemousSyring
Summary: They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan. SHIZAYA
1. Prologue

**TITLE: RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan.**

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series ****_Durarara!_**

**_Special Thanks to my BETA death-sama-lover who will be making this possible :D_**

**_This story was twice corrected, Shirohime - Shizaya stories DID AN EXCEPTIONAL work here, she took her precious time to correct this :D Love you and thank you very much sis :D_**

**_DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to my inspiration, she is my sister and please check on her – Shirohime´s – Shizaya stories – _**

OOOO

_PROLOGUE_

OOO

"That's almost impossible, if Shizuo-san hasn't caught him yet, then neither will you Kadota-san…" Mikado spoke quietly to the large group.

The group started yelling at each other and talking about other possible men who could turn Izaya into a bloody mess as soon as possible.

Mikado sighed. They had been like this the entire morning; Chikage, Kida, Mikado, Walker, Erika, Kadota, Anri, Togusa, Shizuo and two other men; Warren and Usagi. They were all sick of Izaya; they all wanted him dead or at least wanted him broken.

Mikado dragged Shizuo into this, even though the debt collector didn't want to have anything to do with dark things but when he heard that it wasn't actually a "Dark" thing, that it was more like a plan to get rid of the "Dark" in Ikebukuro, he agreed. Especially when he knew who this "Dark" was referring to.

Shizuo understood why he was here; he also understood why these people were here.

"This is useless… no man can bring Izaya down… We know Shizuo-san is strong enough but he sure is faster…" Mikado added. Shizuo growled.

"Hold on, next time I'll get rid of that fucking flea once and for all!" Knuckles getting white by the strength Shizuo was fisting in them.

"We have waited long enough…" Mikado retorted "Besides, let's say you catch him, you would eventually still just beat him once or twice and then let him go."

"Not this time I swear I will kill that louse!"

The group grew euphoric again and they weren't anywhere near destroying the infamous informant.

"I think we won't be able to destroy Izaya; at least not physically…" Kida said aloud. The multitude grew quiet.

"What do you mean?" Kadota asked.

"I have worked with Izaya before… I mean it's not like he never gets serious beatings from gangs…" Everybody was listening carefully "Izaya after a beating… even after the most serious ones; he always comes back like nothing happened… I mean you won´t damage him if that's what you think you will achieve, even if we all go in groups and gang him up."

Kida sighed "If we want to break Izaya then we will have to be smarter than that."

Usagi sipped on his glass of water "Then technically there is no way to hurt Orihara-san…"

"Exactly…" Kida said.

"Bullshit! Give me his neck to snap and let's see if there isn't any way to harm him!" Shizuo exclaimed getting very upset by this pointless reunion.

"But then we would have to wait for you to c-"

"We need to beat him mentally…" Mikado interrupted Kida. "Izaya-san loves humans and he thinks he is a God among us and the only way to make Izaya break is showing him that he is no better than us…"

Everybody turned to look at Mikado "Exposing a God´s deepest secrets would be the best way to tumble down a God…" Mikado ended with a light smile.

Kida grinned happily "Woah Mikado I always knew you were the sharpest color in the box!"

Everyone went to cheer and smile, it was simple; expose Izaya's secrets to the whole world in order to let him know he was no better than anyone… It would definitely kill Izaya.

"We still have a problem…" Kadota interrupted the happy group.

Everybody turned their attention to Kadota who was frowning "How will we get Izaya's secrets, we merely know each other's secrets… not to say he is the best informant of Ikebukuro…"

"Best informant my ass! That louse just lies and pretends to gather true information…" Shizuo barked suddenly. Few laughed and few stopped to think about Kadota's words.

"Mikado? Want to add anything?" Kida added with a slight bitter sarcasm, his eyes lidded in boredom.

"Well…" Mikado sighed and then everyone turned to look at his now huge smile. "We just need somebody who Izaya can trust in!" everyone sighed, defeated at the idea; there was nobody in mind to them.

Minutes passed of silence and Erika found herself chewing her hair and murmuring something. Kadota, who was by her side, seemed to be interested in her words "Erika-Chan… What did you say?"

Everybody turned back to the couple and Erika just sighed while a blush spread all over her face "I was saying that maybe Shizu-Chan can act like he cares and convince Izaya into a serious relationship so they will be happy ev-"

Mikado interrupted her before she lost focus "-so they will be a couple, Izaya lets Shizuo in and then we can install cameras all over his place and Shizuo would wear plenty of cameras. Eventually Izaya would trust Shizuo and we can disarm Izaya by gathering enough humiliating information which I'm glad to say Warren wouldn't have any trouble in making public!"

Everyone cheered up again, everyone except Shizuo.

"No way I'm not fucking that louse just to gather information, that would be slutty and more like him!" Shizuo barked "-there is no way I'm flirting with the un-desirable flea!"

"Oh! Come on Shizuo!" Kadota interjected.

"No way!" Shizuo growled back already feeling his temper rising.

"Don't you want to see Izaya as a crying mess?" Shizuo stopped when he heard Kadota´s words. What? Izaya? _A crying mess?_ There was something wrong in those lines; there was something that did not sound good to Shizuo in those few words…

"Yes, Shizuo-san please" Shizuo got distracted by Kida, soon forgetting the bitter taste Kadota's words left.

"You want revenge, don't you?" Anri said softly as she placed her hand on Shizuo's shoulder. _Yeah but… not a crying mess…_

"Come on Shizuo-kun!" Chikage exclaimed happily. Every single soul from the group started to try to convince the debt collector to the point to make him growl dangerously.

"Fine! Fine shut the hell up!" Shizuo roared and everyone got shut in mid-sentence "I'll do it... I'll do it! Just clarify the plan and I will!"

Everyone seemed happy enough. "You will go and try to flirt with him, I mean try to… uhh… cortege him into a date in this whole time you will have a camera hidden into your tie then you run to step two: serious relationship. You may fake seriousness and all the cheesy shit that comes along with a relationship, we will be given instructions from you about entering his apartment and install plenty of cameras that will record every fraction of what he says and does with you. You HAVE to dig into his secrets and all those things we are interested in gathering. Once we have enough proof that he is the weaker among us, we will call him to get into Ikebukuro's downtown and all his secrets will be published on the big screens of Japan for everyone to admire and remember!" Kida grinned happily and everyone seemed happy enough to have their plan complete.

"There is no way he gets to leave completely from this city, no wonder where his broken self will be at that moment."

Happiness. It smelt like it. Everyone was happy. Everyone. They cheered and laughed at their fool proof plan.

"I've got a problem…" Shizuo said huskily "How do I get to… uhhh convince the flea that I like him… I mean…"

"Oh don't fret over it! I will be helping you! At least when you call me only!" Karisawa added merrily. Shizuo relaxed "Thank you Erika."

"One last thing Shizuo-san," Mikado said as everyone turned to look at him and then at Shizuo "No sharing the plan with Celty-san or Dr. Shinra, if you tell them or Simon, they will surely talk to Izaya-san."

Everybody agreed with what Mikado was asking for. "Sure…" Shizuo mumbled already feeling bitter over the topic.

OOOO

Everyone smiled "We count on you Shizuo, remember it." Kadota said as he helped Togusa to let the camera over Shizuo's tie appear invisible. They added one in Shizuo's spectacles and one hidden in his vest; Shizuo already growled in annoyance over the objects.

He even had a new ear-ring. It was of course a camera.

"Easy Shizuo, we will be removing a couple of them as soon as you get to enter his apartment confidentially so we can install them there instead, the faster you move the better for you." Togusa added happily.

They waved at Erika through the window to show her that the cameras were on, she smiled and waved at Walker and he enthusiastically waved at the van in where Warren was turning on plenty of computers and screens. They all felt relief when they heard "Done bitches! High quality and definition"

They laughed and sighed knowing now only Shizuo's part had to be completed… which was everything.

"Okay…" Shizuo sighed and ran his hand through his bleached hair. "Time to start with this shit." He couldn't help the bitter taste that was left in his mouth as he headed to Ikebukuro searching for a lean skinny fur-trimmed sociopath…

OOOO

**AN/ Sorry for the short chapter but take it as a prologue. You will be seeing SHIZAYA action soon. This is Shizaya not Izuo D: sorry for disappointing any of you but I thought I may make this clear from the beginning. **

**I will continue and please check on my first story C: Hope you enjoyed please follow and review C:**

**Venemous Syring.**


	2. Chapter 1: Hunt

**TITLE: RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize: They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya in the screens of Japan.**

**WARNING: Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE: T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any character from the series Durarara!**

**Special thanks to my BETA Shirohime – Shizaya stories- who will be making this possible.**

**DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to my inspiration and my dear sister – Shirohime – Shizaya stories. –**

**OOOO**

**CHAPTER ONE**

**Hunt**

OOO

Nimble fingers moved across the chessboard, a wide smirk forming in his flawless face; everything was so funny.

Everything was perfect.

The ink-haired informant smirked again now aware of the icy stare he was receiving from his secretary.

"Ah, Namie~" Izaya sang the name as if he was talking to his closest friend. Namie scowled but her expression remained stoic. "See how everything is in place~?" Izaya pointed at his chess board in a way to show it to his cold secretary.

"Look, I actually don't care about your creepy games; I'm staring because I already finished my part of the work. Also, what am I still doing here? My day here finished thirty seconds ago…" With that Namie turned to the door and started walking without anything else to be heard from her except for the loud click-clacks of her heels.

"My, my, so mean~" Izaya smirked, "No wonder why Seiji-kun won't have sex with you Namie-Chan~" The loud bang of the door told the informant that Namie heard him full and clear.

A dry chuckle slipped from the informant's throat.

…

…

…

After that no sounds came from the apartment except for the steady breathing of the raven-haired young man. Izaya sighed and a smile crept on his face, there was no way he found joy in that wide space alone.

The pieces of the chessboard appeared to be looking straight into his carmine eyes; Izaya refocused his attention to his always inviting made-game.

A game where the rules were his and a game where he would never lose…

The black shining piece, currently in his hand, showed him a distorted reflection of his own. Of course he disliked the idea of sitting here the whole day. His work was done and even though he found it interesting to scroll down in the life of his beloved humans, today wasn't exactly his day.

"What to do…" The whisper left his lips after a second or two of pure silence. Each thought reminded him of the logically existing echoes.

What a boring day. A normal one, Izaya hated when his days turned normal.

After moving a piece to the right, Izaya faked a hurt gasp "My, how silly of me! I haven't bothered Shizu-Chan the whole day! There is no way that despicable monster gets a complete day of peace~!"

With that Izaya stood up from his black cold sofa and headed to the door, in a way very happy that he had something to do or rather, someone to be with.

OOOO

There was no way he thought he could control himself the moment when his sight fell on that -already said- undesirable flea. He had no idea how to start with this but he knew it would be worth at the end.

Or so he hoped himself….

Shizuo also wondered how came that he was heading to do the whole dirty work alone. He sighed tiredly and with his nails he scratched the miniature microphone hiding in his vest, fully aware that the scratching sound would send chills down their backs in the command van not that far away from where he stood.

Now that he thought of it, why on earth did he agree? There was no way he could tolerate, more less flirt with the stinking louse. Now talking about that, if there was anything he hated more than Izaya, it was his scent. Scratch that; he loathed Izaya's odor.

Ugh, now that he was thinking about that, it felt as if he was actually smelling it. It felt so close and it felt so real… why did it feel as if the inf-

"Shizu-Chan~"

That annoying voice always managed to break every sane fiber from his being and he found himself right in front of the most annoying and stinking informant in the whole world.

Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

His eyes landed on Izaya's mouth which curled into the most creepy yet annoying as fuck smirk ever. He he felt anger though his complete system and he would never cipher why the fact that Izaya smiled made him sick to his stomach.

"FLEA! I told you not to come to 'Buk-" He stopped in mid-sentence which also made Izaya arch a defined brow. Shizuo froze, it was so unfair; he actually wanted to insult his hated flea but he remembered the tons of microphones and cameras hiding on his body. Shit!

He remembered the whole purpose of seeing Izaya this day.

"What's wrong Shizu-Chan? Has your pea-sized brain decided to make a bold move by finally walking away? I mean, I don't blame it. Who on earth would want to be part of your monstrosity?" Izaya's smirk stretched wider as his fingers touched the cold blade resting in his pocket.

The adrenaline level rose and Izaya was ready to give yet another chase around Ikebukuro, if there was something he found enticing it was the whole presence of the bleached brute currently in front of him.

Shizuo's hands curled into tight fists and his breathing became slightly ragged. Izaya was a little impressed he didn't receive an insult much less any hint of the brute trying to throw, whatever heavy object he found, at him.

The minutes passed and the adrenaline in Izaya's veins was slowly subsiding. Why wasn't the brute chasing him?

"Earth calling to protozoan world~" Izaya thought that if the brute wasn't starting the chase then he would do whatever he could to make him start.

Shizuo's gaze hardened but he still didn't move. True, the rage in his eyes was evident but why was he standing instead of chasing him around? Unpredictable Shizu-Chan…

Izaya was quickly getting bored. Until the light came to his eyes and he smirked, he gripped his blade as tight as he could and moved a step closer.

…

_Don't come closer you louse, I'm gonna snap your neck!_

Shizuo was hardly controlling himself by standing there without hurting the skinny man, now he doubted he could stay stoic if Izaya decided to step closer.

_I have to; I have to flirt with the flea… Shit I have to…_

_Disgusting._

Shizuo shook his head and he knew what he had to do.

One meter made the distance from the two bodies that stood in front of each other. Izaya gasped quietly, how come the brute wasn't saying anything or insulting him now that they were close enough to be freaked out. He was getting nearer by the second and Shizuo seemed to remain at ease.

Izaya's grip in his blade became tighter and in a swift move he graciously stretched his arm to point the silver at Shizuo's nose.

"Now, why is Shizu-Chan being more protozoan than before?" Izaya smirked widely but his face couldn't hide the irritation from the situation. Anything he could handle and hide but he had a sore spot when it came to Shizuo finally realizing that their chases were stupid and none-sense.

"Because I don't want to fight with you anymore…"

Izaya froze. A hollow laugh escaped his lips. "Oh no, is Shizu-Chan willing to leave me alone in this world?" Izaya burst into laughter and Shizuo sighed. "I'm going to ask and Shizu-Chan will try to answer coherently; why is that Shizu-Chan?" The sneer in Izaya's face soon turned into a face expecting full answers. Not that he would respect the brute's wishes anyway, he was simply… curious.

Shizuo sighed. Maybe he could do things as quick as possible. He could say any lie that came to his mind, they were that anyways; lies. He could lie and lie and lie and wait for the end. He was deciding this; he was going to lie to Izaya.

"I like you."

OOOO

Every single participant of the group had their eyes wide open.

"That's too quickly!" Kadota winced slightly at Erika's worried voice. "As much as I love this kind of action; Shizuo isn't thinking in the plan, he is going to ruin it!"

Everyone agreed with Erika. Shizuo wasn't even making sense; his confession was far from what they expected. Why did they entrust Shizuo with this project in the first place?

"No wait…" Anri said in a hushed tone. Everyone followed her index finger which was pointing at the screens in front of everyone.

"I think he is doing it fine…" She finished quietly.

The cameras had full sight of Izaya. There were at least four screens showing him. Everyone became quiet at Izaya's expression . It was priceless. The informant of Ikebukuro was quiet. No, not quiet, scratch that; he was speechless.

OOOO

Auburn eyes widened for the slightest of seconds. A new mask formed in this peculiar situation. How's that the brute….

The sinister gleam re-appeared in the infamous' eyes. Mind racing for a new toxicity to throw at him.

…Nothing.

How come he couldn't hide his surprise? His mouth soon opened into a sneer. A sudden feeling shook his system. His pulse skyrocketed and his hands became cold.

"That was incredibly disgusting Shizu-Chan… not funny at all." At least the words slipped off his tongue without breaking. No way, Shizuo couldn't be saying that. The giggle that escaped the informant's mouth made Shizuo growl with impatience; was Izaya nervous?

"What's disgusting flea, I don't get your humor."

Izaya opened his mouth to retort in the most peaceful way he could manage. "Just when I thought that Shinra was right and that my humor was darker than black you had to appear with the creepiest joke ever heard. My, I'll have to call Shinra…"

Izaya's hands were cold as the tile floor when it snowed. His breathing was starting to fail; suddenly all he wanted was to…

"Hey you flea! What are you running from?!" feet moving as fast as they could go without falling. Izaya was running away from the brute. His brain was not according at all to his wishes. He wished he had an immediate retort to spat at Shizuo.

He wished his hands weren't sweating, he wished his heart could go and die and stop beating with the drama it was currently beating. He wished… He wished he wasn't this sure as to why those words stung in his ribs all the way up to his chest. Perhaps it wasn't that…

Could it be that it was because he never heard them before? I like you.

All he could do was run. He learnt it. He learnt to run when he felt deep-waist in troubles. All he could think about in that precise moment was; run…

OOOO

Shizuo's hands rested on his knees, he was still standing and the position was giving away his exhaustion.

"Fucking louse… Always running from shits…" His breathing was not steady and the sound that erupted from his mouth, only warned those near Shizuo Heiwajima, what he was feeling that moment.

He was pissed off.

People near the park in which Shizuo was currently wandering disappeared as fast as a lightning strike.

Once again he lost sight of Izaya.

"What are you waiting for Shizzy! Go for him!"

The sound of Erika's voice made Shizuo flinch in discomfort. Everyone would if they had a microphone installed in an ear-ring. Erika was communicating through it.

"Too loud!" Shizuo growled while one finger was placed in his own ear as if it would comfort.

"Sorry, sorry. Ya heaaaar meeee?"

"Loud enough to wish you were as close as I hear you to be, so I could punch the life out of you!" Shizuo was growing irritated by the loud noise in his ear.

"Oops! I'll be quieter!" Erika promised while he could almost hear her smile, totally unabashed by his potential threat.

"Better be…" Shizuo growled dangerously. After a second or two of silence, Shizuo sighed. "I don't feel comfortable with having to hear all your ramblings in my ear…"

"Oh don't worry Shizzy! We won´t be communicating unless it is downright inevitable~."

"How is it necessary now?"

And just when Shizuo thought Erika could manage to talk properly with someone "GO FOR IZA-IZA SO YOU CAN MAKE SWEET LO-"

A quick noise was heard. Was it a smack? Shizuo growled. "Shizuo-san?", Mikado. "We asked Erika-Chan to be quick and tell you to go to Izaya. Then we realized we were asking Erika… I mean… "Erika" you see how it goes?"

"Yeah, kinda thought you were a ball of assholes." Shizuo talked through a tight line. When no answer came from the inter-communicator, Shizuo sighed and scratched the back of his neck.

"Anyways... I'm not going to follow the louse right now. Did you guys see how he was? He was expelling nervousness. It disgusted me." Shizuo felt a wave of shudders down his spine as he remembered those carmine slits widen in pure shock.

A sigh was barely heard. "Shizuo-san, as much as the idea disgusts you … you have to go for him."

"No."

"Shizuo-san please be rational, we didn't start this for you to back off when you finally have him nervous. We actually didn't expect that! That's great! We thought you would ruin it all but then Izaya's reaction had our mouths agape." Mikado was right. He never thought the flea could actually look so frightened… nervous? Which one was correct? Like a cat whose whiskers were pulled off with cruelty.

"Shizuo-San maybe Izaya-san always bothered you because he liked you…" Shizuo's eyes went wide by that simple suggestion. "That would be more than great… maybe you could tell him you always liked him and that you didn't know how to behave with that feeling."

That sounded… cruel. Didn't it? What if what Mikado said was true? What if the reason why Izaya got that nervous was because of a hidden crush towards him?

_No… I… don't…_

He could use it as a point to his side because to be honest… he always hated Izaya. But as much a he hated Izaya the idea sounded…

"Shizuo-San? If you are still there, then you may think that if what we assumed here together is true then you have to consider that Izaya-san will believe you easily I mean; that you actually like him since he got the same feeling but behaved like quite the opposite."

He understood; if their deductions were true. Izaya was nervous and maybe it was because of a crush and Shizuo understood how to use the situation. Shizuo could go and repeat himself; Izaya would have to believe him because Izaya himself felt the same way and could manage to act against it.

"Just in case you were worried about how would you make him believe you…"

"Uhh…" His stomach churned in discomfort. No matter who it was; the idea of twisting someone's emotions to hurt was despicable. Mikado seemed to catch his hesitance and he sighed.

"Shizuo-San, I'm not saying that's the solid true, remember it's just an assumption." Right, right, it was only an assumption; Nothing to worry about. Somehow the idea of Izaya already liking him bothered him even more than the idea of convincing and cortege the flea on a date.

"Yeah, Yeah uhm… It's not that, it's just that I'm disgusted by the flea." He tried to shake that burning feeling from his chest. He felt dirty and he felt he was going low on something… something that wasn't as good as he wished it to be.

He was pissed off… why wasn't it fine? Those guys in the group were good guys; all they wanted was peace like him.

Shizuo smiled. Yes, yes… peace, once the flea broke int-

…Broke.

"Fuck that louse!" Shizuo growled loudly making Mikado flinch in the other side of the somewhat call.

"Shizuo-san?"

"I'm breaking that asshole in the worst way possible and I'm not going to regret it!"

Shizuo wished he could hang the call. All he wanted to do was kill that bastard Izaya for making him feel the way he felt.

OOOO

Izaya's hands were cold. He found himself looking at the wide television but the device seemed to be disconnected. He was just staring without focus at the black screen.

He wasn't at home. He was in the only place where he could enter without being invited.

"I will have to tell my dear Celty not to come here right now, she doesn't like you at all but anyways who does it~?" Shinra's hands were clasped together and a smile was plastered across his face.

"Him."

That peeked Shinra's interest. "Oh?"

Carmine eyes losing glimmer at the forgotten memories scratching the rough ties of his head, ties which only helped the informant to stand without falling… ties that swore strength in order to keep those memories where they were; locked.

"I mean…" Izaya's mask was hardly in place… just the two of them knew about it and Shinra even swore he would keep it from Celty.

"Would you believe it?" Izaya's voice was firm, despite the dull twirling colors in his eyes. The smirk was wider than before.

ooOOoo

"Why not?"

Shinra sighed at his friend's peculiar way to see things, no matter how many times he told Izaya he was not going to introduce him to Shizuo Heiwajima, the raven-haired insisted that he knew, the blonde and him would get along almost instantly.

"Izaya, I told you before… Shizuo is not exactly what you expect. Look he has this great strength that he can't control… knowing how playful you are, you are surely going to piss him off…"

Izaya gasped dramatically "Why would I piss him off? Why would I piss him off if I like him?" Izaya clasped his hands together "Otherwise I wouldn't be interested in getting to know him~"

Shinra sighed, why was Izaya being so insistent anyways? "No." Final answer and no tangling words that came out of Izaya's mouth; he wasn't going to give in.

The days passed and Izaya always insisted in wanting to know the brute from the back sits. Shinra would say no. Shinra knew them both and doubted a volcano and a tornado could get along. But his bespectacled eyes always caught the way Izaya stared at Shizuo.

What a silly crush in his opinion. Izaya was devious, playful, joyful, somberly and had pose. There was no way he matched with Shizuo; Shizuo was short-tempered, raging, explosive, carefree and nice-hearted.

Totally different, But there was something that convinced Shinra to introduce them… it wasn't the way Izaya looked at Shizuo. It wasn't the constant nags he received from the raven-haired and it definitely wasn't that they both were close to the bespectacled.

It was that both were loners.

Both seek company. They just were too stubborn to accept it.

So Shinra saw a potential friendship from the both lone-wolves of Raira academy.

OOO

"One day he will like you, he just needs time to get to know you…"

"The day he likes me, I will run to your fucking house and tell you I was right to want to know him the whole time." The words that escaped Izaya's lips weren't those of a hopeful teenager, but were those of a raging man whose hopes were crushed by the circumstances of life, or even better one's choice. The sarcasm was evident in his voice. He was feeling defeated and ashamed of the whole situation.

"I guess Izaya, you are hated just by your looks… too gay~" Shinra smiled widely and moved his hand in the air to give away his joke. "Sorry, couldn't resist"

Izaya didn't laugh. Shinra sighed at the antipathy of his friend.

"Like I told you; one day he will come… just wait for it. As you wait I will be right in my house with my lovely Celty…" With that Shinra turned and waved his hands to leave.

Izaya chuckled bitterly "Right… One day…"

ooOOoo

"Why would you feel that way? Isn't that what you wanted?" Shinra asked trying to catch the exact expression of the informant. This was a whole new sight. Izaya never in his life came here just to talk. Especially about what he felt or what specifically happened to him.

He always knew Izaya to be a closed soul.

"That was six or seven years ago… The brute may be planning something…."

Shinra sighed. "Izaya, We are talking about Shizuo… he is not that elaborated as you I mean; he is quiet simple, he feels and he says. If he told you that… is because he meant it by heart." Ugh that made Izaya's stomach to drop drown.

Long ago he lost that shameful hope. He was just wondering; why so sudden?

"He is a good guy remember that. He won't twist things like a devious informant I know…" Shinra smirked and sipped at his tea-cup "He is better than you. Shizuo is simple minded, he acts on impulses… so why would you worry?"

"I guess that you are not an imbecile Shinra… maybe you are right~" Izaya pulled up a smirk one that made his smile even wider. "But he is definitely not better than me… remember I'm a God~"

Shinra sighed for the hundredth time that night.

"I will have to warn you because if I don't then you will do." Shinra's expression turned serious. "Shizuo is a good person, if you hurt him, lovely Celty will cut your head in two, so I would prefer not having to save you if you go the wrong way, do we understand each other?"

The underground doctor smiled again.

Izaya rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Come on Shinra, it's not like we are getting married. May I not believe him… perhaps it was a way to make me leave him alone"

"But that would be stupid." Shinra interrupted. "He is not like you. He doesn't plan on things I know him well; he feels and so he acts."

Izaya stood quiet for a couple of seconds. His mind refused to believe this was truly happening. How come the brute decided to break their current status? It's not like they were in another one, but just the thought of it made his skin crawl and it wasn't unpleasant at all.

…

"I guess you accomplished your promise…" Shinra sighed with a strange smile. It was like if Shinra was actually… glad.

Izaya was first confused but his mind soon threw the whole memory. He sighed.

"I never promised I would actually come, remember I did lose hope." Izaya reached for the tea Shinra previously gave

"I didn't say how you promised; I saw it in your eyes. You said if he ever liked you then you would come to me… now say it." This was weird, Shinra wasn't being creepy and he was actually saying something inoffensive to Izaya. Like if through all those weird layers Shinra had, he still had those friendly seconds with Izaya.

After all; both were taking off their sarcastic masks in front of each other… at least for a second.

"Say what?" Izaya wasn't in the mood of neither twisting words nor playing with them but somehow the underground doctor was making him feel like he should have felt from the start… head-high.

"Say it was worth all the time you bothered me to actually make me introduce him to you." That was sincere. Or at least that's what Shinra's smile said. "Come on, say it… recover yourself…"

Izaya smirked, this was childish but they were few childish moments he shared with the brown haired. He suddenly felt better…

"Shinra~"

Shinra sighed playfully. "What Izaya?"

"Remember all the times I bothered you to introduce me to Shizu-Chan?"

Shinra sat on the couch next to Izaya and feigned he suddenly remembered. "Oh yes, very annoying let me add… not to say weird the way you turned to make his life a living hell… but what about that?"

Izaya reclined himself in the black cushion, eyes shinning with excitement. "I was right the whole time in wanting to know him."

Shinra held back a chuckle, never in his life had his friend's red eyes shone with the intensity they were shining right now. "And why is that Izaya?"

Izaya stretched his arms and crossed his legs, locking eyes with Shinra. "Because he likes me too."

OOOOO

Usagi and Walker stared together at the large clock on the computer's screen. Usagi smirked at Walker.

"Finally…" Walker murmured. Usagi nodded and he took away his pencil's tip from his mouth. Usagi spoke aloud.

"Let's start this shit!"

It read:

Recording Time: 00:00/00:00-00:00

**OOOO**

**A/N:**


	3. Chapter 2: Bunny

**TITLE: RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan.**

**-Repost-**

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series ****_Durarara!_**

**_Special thanks to my BETA Shirohime – Shizaya stories- who will be making this possible. Wow, she gets to help me more than you think over this….GIVE HER SOME LOVE! _**

**_DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to my inspiration and my dear sister – Shirohime – Shizaya stories. –_**

OOOO

CHAPTER TWO:

**Bunny**

OOO

**Time: 0 Months, 01 day, 6 hours and half an hour- After chapter one -**

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**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

I counted every year behind me. Every year I learned something new. I ruled my own world. I made my own rules. I made my limits and extended my horizons to the impossible. Still, my own laws contradicted in a single rule. Rather than a rule it was more a statement. Only I could join those two meanings into one single, sense making, conclusion.

_There is no limit, but there is a barrier._ It was pretty logical but I knew my beloved humans wouldn't get it. I lived beyond limits, I lived the way I pleased, but somehow managed to build a barrier that would restrict me if I wanted to go further.

Complicated, absurd, non-sense; I understood my logic. It was mine after all. If I followed it, then it was fine. If I was pleased, then it was fine.

The way people looked at me only made my eagle wings spread wider. I was a God. I am a God. I was flawless… _I am perfect._

No human being worth my struggle. I never happened to struggle around a human being anyway… _not since I became a God_... My point of view would always be snickered off as psychotic… lunatic maybe… I never minded those kinds of whispers…

My mind would swirl the way I wanted, there weren't doubts in my actions and I never felt trapped. Not even with the fortissimo of Ikebukuro a meter by.

Not since I concluded I had a superior brain.

I always knew a way to escape. I always had a solution. How could I not? I was not raised to survive, I was raised to live. I was raised by my own standards. My parents were the average; workers. They did struggle. They did feel trapped in certain circumstances of life.

Like when my mother cried and my father cursed at the wind; troubles. My eyes wouldn't soften by compassion. Whenever my eyes caught up the frame my fists would tighten with fury. How weak.

I never felt any kind of compassion towards my own parents… but I did pity their poor standards of life; so meaningless….

They weren't worth my compassion… who was anyways? Who actually cared for the other?

I remember I was twelve years old when I first saw my mother cry because of my strange behavior. _Tsk_, she was worried…. I remember I laughed at her. Crappy excuse- of- a- worried- mom… _why worry now?_ I remember I asked her. _Why worry when I already molded myself?_ She never touched the topic again, rather; she never touched any kind of topic with me. She never talked to me the same way as before… I didn't miss her either. By my sister's mouths I know that she was scared of me, still is. She said the way my eyes became splits freaked her out, she said it was similar to the presence of an unknown spectrum… a demon. And as to expect; she was a human… she was scared of the _unknown…_

_Why worry now that I'm strong? Why not when I needed her?_

Why would I need a human?

That was the first time I concluded I was different among humans… _Humans_, I remember I tasted the call… I knew I wasn't included.

Humans… always trapped in "Troubles"…

I never found priority in facing my say "problems" I found glee in running from them. I involved and always won. My terms were simple, at least for me. My mind agreed. I extended the rules and changed them the way I wanted; I twisted them and I showed the crowd I always win. No matter how were they playing, it doesn't matter if they made the first move… I always win.

My thinking is strange, no… not strange, it is _unique_. The one time I ever spoke about it was with Shinra, he didn't get me, he said I contradicted myself in every sentence, but he found irk in the way I twisted words to make them sound like they were the undeniable truth.

And my rules provided what a God wanted…

…Power.

I always laughed at the fracases humans had to face; Stupid methods of living. Better say: surviving.

That's all me… That's what I am.

…

I am hundred percent sure I am more than them…. More than a human being. I am… I truly am. But then…

…

…

I smirked.

…Why is it? Why couldn't I find peace watching at my computer's screen? I couldn't sleep all night. I could barely feel my hands. This was an unknown circumstance. Was it so? It couldn't be happening; At least not to me.

I didn't want it and I was still impressed my brain was getting commands from somewhere else… from where?

Where?

…

…

…

I was lost.

For the very first time in my whole life; I didn't understand myself.

It didn't know how many times I turned upwards the cards on my table, I still couldn't get why I was feeling this way.

My brain would go back to high school- one thing was sure; I was conflicted by Shizuo…- my brain would show me memories I denied at looking.

I wish I didn't feel good by the way I spoke with Shinra, I wish my stomach wouldn't turn around with burning butterflies… I wish… I wish… I wish I wasn't excited to hear those words again.

…

_I like you. _

…

For all I know they could be lies.

But then what Shinra said would burn my ears… true Shizu-chan wasn't like me… the truth is that Shizu-chan is not like me. _I_ would have lied… _he _only says what comes to heart. Is that true anyways? Does he really like me? Does he wish to stop fighting?

I remember six years ago I was dying to know him… I liked him. He was the brute to snap, and hate my face, the second he landed eyes on me. How I wished I had a different face back then.

But then I realized that if he hated me then I would be constantly on his mind, like he was on mine. I had no problems in the way I thought about it. I couldn't love a single human… but I could love another kind of species … if it was unique then I would love that species alone…

That's why I loved Shizuo as a whole, as the only population of his species; as a monster.

The cards were turned, I knew it. But I still didn't know… maybe I was feeling insecure... maybe I was being dramatic over his words… Does he know it was the first time I have ever heard them? Ah, probably not.

When would I see him again?

When we were in high school, I remember I had this broken rib thanks to one of his punches… I was in home for about a week. I remember I promised it was going to be the last time I shed my tears for him…

I never understood why it bothered him to face me that much…

High-School was a challenge; it helped me to build myself the way I wanted. That's when I forced myself to keep being in balance. I was referring to this when I said I built to not go further than expected.

Like I said to Shinra… I threw this useless hope aside long ago. I understood back in high-school… What was I expecting? Be friends? Find myself resting in his arms? That's why I dropped it and found myself restless about the topic. I decided to bother him; I loved him in my way, urged him to talk to me, and urged him to snap at me… I pissed him off.

I was fine with it. That's when it became official.

I grew fond of our chases… it was the only thing that kept us together. Those were the few times I felt heat, it was the only way I didn't feel alone. Just the thought of him wanting to catch me, it always made me joyous. It didn't matter if it was from pure hatred… he still wanted to catch me.

That's how things were…

And just as the sudden rain hit my window, I suddenly realized why I was worried.

I was worried of it being _a lie_. I was worried to face a liar like me, I was afraid to be paid with my own eyes… with my own money… with my own lies…

But then Shizu-chan and I were quiet the opposite…

OOOO

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

"Yeah, yeah as if the fucking flea was a lady in distress…" I grunted at Shinra who was currently sitting in front of me. He had that weird smile plastered over his face. I was growing annoyed. Why was Shinra hesitating that much in giving me the flea's home address? As if the flea was a delicacy.

Shinra was a case, he was truly a case. His facial language was telling me he was glad I was asking for Izaya's address but deep in his eyes, he was hesitating to give it to me; it was almost as if Shinra was looking for Izaya's back.

Shinra sighed "Fine… but if you make Izaya angry and I find him bitching over here I'm going to get your head for it."

"…" Shinra smirked.

Wow, that was creepy. I felt the threat in his voice, but his voice also carried a strange feeling of happiness…

I needed to get out of here.

"Where is it?" I asked as he handed me a worn out notebook, it looked kinda messy and by the looks of it, it was some kind of make-shift agenda. Why Shinra didn't buy one instead of using a school notebook?

Cheap asshole.

Whatever, who am I to talk about being cheap…? "Here…" Shinra reached for the notebook, handed it back and now opened it up for me. There it was 'Orxxara IzXya: XXXXXxxShibxXXXxx xxx13Xx xxX'

…!

…!

"Shinra what the hell does it say here?! What a crappy handwriting!"

Shinra scratched his neck nervously and reached again. "Here says Orihara and well yeah, the R is a bit confusing here I'm going to admit, I guess I was sleepy but anyways! Here says Iza-"

"Dictate it better, this is not gonna end tonight if you keep on rambling shit…!"

"Oh okay…" Shinra fixed his glasses and squinted his eyes a little… perfect! The asshole didn't even know what he wrote over there… Ugh…

"Uhmm… Shizuo?"

"What!" I snapped as he stood up from his seat.

"I'm going to call my lovely Celty; she knows my handwriting well~ because with all honesty I don't know what I wrote here…"

…!

…!

KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL

"You gonna call Celty just to read you a fucking address because you are so useless to ignore what your own fucking handwriting says?!"

…

…!

My fists clenched with furry, but Shinra seemed unabashed. "Uh… Kinda…?"

AGH!

Shit, this was going to last a life time.

OOOOOOOOOOO

I opened my eyes groggily. Ugh… the headache was still there, that asshole Shinra took the whole night in deciphering the flea's address…

I stood up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I had to be quick today. Tom said I could take a day off…

I was planning to pay Izaya a visit… rather WE were planning on paying him a visit. I wasn't gulping thinking about "The later" and how I sounded about it. I wanted my revenge, _we_ wanted our revenge and we were going to get it.

I talked briefly with Kadota yesterday at night after I went to Shinra's place. He told me I was doing a great job and that I shouldn't worry about it.

He told me how heartless and cold Izaya was… I told him he was right… there is no way I should feel mercy.

I just didn't want to feel it like the other way around; Izaya the victim.

I was ready to do the strike. In fact; Erika said the best way to entice him would be with sweet words and cheesy details… She said flowers would be enough for an uke…- I still don't know what does it mean-but anyways… I was on my way to buy some flowers.

She said to buy the prettiest ones. I will buy whatever reminds me of him… black dead flowers would be nice…

Heh…

I found myself in front of the flower shop. The shop girl waved at me and I growled. Fucking louse, why couldn't he be cute like a girl? He had to be this ugly bastard…

"Any important occasion, sir? Anniversary? Proposal? Apology?" The shop girl grinned lightly; she had tan skin with orange locks, wondered if it was dyed.

"Uh… Actually… A way to convince a flea to date me…"

She grew awkwardly quiet, not to say the forced smile that was frozen on her face. Fucking chick.

"Uh… difficult lover huh?" She waved to try to drop the tense air. I silently cringed at the chosen word "lover" If I wasn't feeling already nauseous, then I was officially nauseous at that precise moment.

"More or less… maybe unwanted…"

"Sir? Are you here for the flowers or not?"

I growled, maybe this stupid chick didn't know who I was… for the better, at least she wasn't going to freak out the moment when I paid, talking about payment. I wasn't spending a cent in that louse… the group and I agreed than any cost would go to the pocket from everyone… The topic was discussed with Kadota yesterday.

I mean, it was fair enough. They told me whatever I spent on the project would be later discussed.

"Yeah I want to see the red ones…" I said with a slight boredom, I wanted to get out of here already, this girl was as empty minded as her whole shop.

"Oh but of course! Red flowers means passion and desire, love and longing… but be careful the red may mean the most passionate hatred towards a single person. If your lover knows about flowers I suggest you to buy some bluebells… they mean serenity, purity and carin-"

"I'm fine with the hate-flowers… I'll be taking those red flowers, if you find dead roses, then better…"

The girl appeared to be amazed by my harsh words but smiled politely as she went to the back side to go pick some fresh new roses. I hope the flea gets my message…

"_Shizuo didn't you hear the woman! Roses are not the best option!"_

"You said you were going to speak only if it was downright inevitable" I said huskily at Kadota, damn them…

"_But she sa-"_

"The chick was merely speaking about color, roses indeed means love, don't they?" I replied. I wanted those roses! Those were the closest to what I could digest buying without vomiting.

"_Yeah… maybe you are right…"_

…

…Silence.

"Uh… I guess… now… I won't go to the flea unless you promise you won't speak even once I'm over, if you speak when I'm with the louse then I will snap without thinking and the flea will get all bitchy about it!"

"_How you know that Izaya bitches around when he is mad?"_

"Let's say Shinra said it…"

"_Ah, Okay, deal. But try to LIE I mean, you are obvious you don't want him, try to act like you do… think of him as someone else I don't know Shizuo… we can't lose this opportunity. Once Izaya finds you are lying there is no way he will fall a second time… you just have one chance to show him you are okay with him… okay? No bickering back because I'm done…"_

Fucking Kadota…

The girl returned with nice tied roses I found no dead flowers, _damn her._ The roses were full and their leaves were green and wide almost like arms opened in a welcoming hug. I thanked her and paid for them.

I did wonder why she tied the roses with a black big ribbon; maybe she sensed my dislike towards the flea…. Shit, if a dumbass girl could sense it, then the smartass of a pest will too.

_Shizuo concentrate! You like the flea… ugh… or at least you act like you like the flea… yeah… that's right… _

I sensed all eyes on me; well this was a sight, the monster of Ikebukuro with a big flower arrangement. I tried not to scowl at them all… I decided to walk all over to Shinjuku. Maybe it would calm my stress.

My eyes focused on the carmine colored roses… I remember once I found myself staring at the flea's eyes color. Rare to admit, the flea himself is weird. But his eyes resembled these flowers a lot…

A flawless vivid color, but deep inside were these spikes ready to hurt and scratch… Just like Izaya's eyes… his eyes were always vivid, but every time I focused they would let see those blazing spikes.

OOOO

I just hoped the reeking louse would be at home.

"My, my so impatient~" I heard his voice from the other side of the door, yes, I was almost pounding the door with my fist. Well, at least I controlled myself enough not to break it.

I heard a lock and then the door opened slowly. My breath was stuck in my throat.

Velvet carmine met hard coffee.

"Shizu-chan?" He was the first to speak and I indulged myself in the pleasure of actually feeling I had control… Izaya's eyes widened at the flowers. I smirked. _Izaya I am going to win you over this._

**-Recording time: 2 day / 6 hours with 17 minutes and 56 seconds.-**

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**OOOO**

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews. I just want to make some things clear; I know Shizuo is not stupid; I'm narrating from his point of view almost all the time, so no worries guys I know Shizuo is not stupid but this is the way this story has to goooo ;) (Shinra and Izaya may say he is though… I mean, everyone says Izaya is a jackass… come on he is not) **

**Oh just for the record: we are getting more heated than cold over here… I know I have been cold but it is part of the story :D Oh Ohhh! I want some love for Shinra's handwriting :3 I'm going to update faster this time.**

**PS: This is a repost because Fanfiction decided to not update my post in the most recent updates xD so here**

**Review and Follow**

**Venemous Syring**


	4. Chapter 3: Self Satisfaction

**TITLE: **** RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan.**

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Durarara!**_

_**Special thanks to my BETA Shirohime – Shizaya stories- who will be making this possible. Still no idea how much she helps me, do you? ;D No… really… I mean REALLY. She should write this, not me Hahaha.**_

_**I want you to know that she took her precious time to correct **__**Hate-Crimes**__** just because she loves me (And she has some neurotic disorder) She corrected the **__**Prologue**__** of this story which she said had plenty of errors, and she didn't even ask me about being "recognized" for it. So guys, thanks her about this whole project. I love her deeply. She is the reason why I write and your reviews are the reason why I post. So, please keep reviewing. Check on her because if you like my writing style then you WILL LOVE her's.**_

_**DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to my inspiration and my dear sister – Shirohime – Shizaya stories. –**_

OOOO

CHAPTER THREE:

**Self-Satisfaction**

OOO

**Time: 0 Months, 02 days, 6 hours and half an hour- After chapter two -**

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**.**

**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

_In which mind does it happen? _

I smirked.

_Woah._

"This is disgusting Shizu-chan…"

…

…

"Oh hell, stop talking bullshit and take them…" He handed me the bouquet of roses and I couldn't help but stare at the strong colored flowers.

_Why?_

My smirk grew wide and I lifted my gaze from the bouquet to him.

"I repeat; this is disgusting…"

Shizu-chan tsked and he moved to step forward, successfully shoving me away from the entrance of my house, his shoulder brushed roughly against mine. Shizu-chan wasn't exactly gentle with me… how's that he comes to my house with a bouquet and still pushes me away?

"I don't care… I thought of you when I saw them…"

I smirked yet again.

_Really? _

_You aren't lying, are you?_

_Because these are beautiful… _

"Did you?"

Shizu-chan took a seat on the couch and nodded.

My hands tightened on the bouquet and Shizu-chan's expression seemed to question my current silent status.

_I am Orihara Izaya…_

_If you think this is fun Shizu-chan… just wait till I'm done._

"Flea?"

_How dare he…?_

I grinned at Shizuo.

"You are creeping me out, flea?"

Quietly I placed the bouquet of bright roses on the coffee table in front of him.

"But Shizu-chan… there is something amiss about those roses if they reminded you of me…"

I swiftly sat down by his side, noticing how he tensed by the proximity. As quick as lightning I lunged my hand towards his pants. Shizu-chan flinched uncomfortably and I stood up from the couch.

"What the f-"

"I wanted your lighter…"

"What?"

I raised my hand to show him my previous inoffensive move; stealing his lighter.

I sighed and the smirk soon found its correct place on my face. "Like I said… there is something missing."

I turned on the lighter.

Before Shizu-chan could mutter another word, the lighter was thrown to the bouquet, successfully accomplishing my intended purpose.

They burned, each of them. Every single rose burned in front of us. The fierce fire consumed every fine petal, every green leaf and every single healthy steam, every bit of life and every hope of recovering drifted away with each consuming wave of fire.

…

…

Fire…

_How beautiful._

"You truly are nuts…" I heard him mutter and his eyes were glued to my now laughing form. Now the fire subsided and the ashes of the once alive roses, rested on my coffee table.

The corpses now unrecognizable as once lucidly open roses… I took the sight to heart.

With every drip of blood boiling inside him I could almost swear I felt, I laughed more.

My laughing fit soon subsided and I had to take my time to breathe and rebuilt my masquerade.

I approached him, seemingly joyous. "Now they indeed are like me like me…" I grinned.

_Fun right?_

"You truly are crazy, what the hell was that?!"

_Yes… Yes…_

_Look at me and tell me you like me…_

_Tell me you like me…_

_Say it…_

_Just once…_

_And I'll believe you this time…_

His eyes wandered from the blackish flowers to my crimson orbs.

My teeth showing as I smirked widely, my eyes turning to dangerous splits.

I could see the confusion in his eyes, I could see anger, I could see rage, I could see perplexity, I could see disgust… but it didn't matter how much I hoped and crossed fingers, it didn't matter how long I wished for it… be it far to say I could even find any of what I wanted… I couldn't even feel sympathy for me in those eyes, less would I find truth in those words he said. _I like you._

…

… a light chuckle.

… a twist of lips.

… another low chuckle.

"If that's your sick way to tell me you didn't like them I might inform you that there are plenty of ways to sa-"

"Liar…" I muttered, interrupting him and I won't deny it, I was almost happy to say it. Happy because then I wouldn't berate myself anymore …

"What did you say?" For the very first time, in these years we have known each other, his impatience … bothered me.

"Liar…" I repeated, this time he heard it.

It was like some little voice in his head spoke to him and Shizuo appeared to be really snapping out of something. He instantly shook his head and approached me. The movement was so sudden that I had to back off until my back hit the wall.

"No, no, no, no…" He clarified; _No? __You promise it?_ It was almost as if he was reading my mind. "Why's that? Flea, I admit that, was really weird just now, but that doesn't mean I don't like you anymore…"

…_Anymore._

Keyword.

"I mean," he smiled gently at me, "that would be pretty immature… I already know your mind is a little fucked up but I still like you with all those shits. It would be childish to back off just because of your previous psychotic episode."

This wasn't happening between us.

_Psychotic? Whatever._

This wasn't actually happening and I'm not saying it like some crazy gay boy screaming aloud "Oh Lord, yes!" no… this was weird, knowing how perceptive I am, I knew well to trust my guts… but for some reason I can't explain… I _wanted_ to believe it. I longed to hear it since a long time ago.

I smirked; still I never said what I wanted is what I did, did I? I think I did it.

"Oh really?" I pushed him away from me, yes I was acting confusing, but who would notice? "Would you mind proving it to me?"

That precise moment, when I ended my sentence something in Shizuo appeared to take it as a "Perfect opportunity"… _of what?_ I asked myself, but well maybe this man was really meaning every word he said.

He smiled at me deliriously "You want me to prove it to you? Then date me from now on."

_What?_

"What?"

He approached me "Date me and yes Izaya, I'm asking you out." I was seriously taken aback. "I'm really asking you out."

I …

…

…

…

…I

!

"Get the hell out of here…"

I was already stepping up the stairs which lead to the second store to go lock myself in my room.

"Iz-"

"GET the hell OUT of here Shizuo!" I wanted to ignore him as I reached my destination. My room door was roughly opened and with the same finality it was closed.

…

… silence.

…

"Hey, flea…?" _Shit,_ "I'm sure you know my phone number, text me if you make a decision, I'm leaving my phone number on the table and flea?"

Silence…

"I'm damn serious!"

With that last statement I was left alone in my room, locked and clearly feeling uneasy.

OOOO

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

The second my nose smelled the scent of smoke I cringed. It's true I wouldn't be able to decease from fire waves, but I still felt reluctant to be incinerated by them. For the slightest of seconds I thought that Izaya grew insane enough to attempt murdering me along with himself in his sole apartment. Yes, I'm talking about when he threw the lighter to the roses.

What an insane flea.

But there was only one thing that struck in my head. It was Izaya's expression that caught me off guard; when he accused me so truly about it all.

_Liar._

I am indeed a liar.

AGH!

If it wasn't for Mikado's voice through the inter-communicator in the precise moment where Izaya accused me for what I am – a liar-, I would have been speechless. Mikado egged me to sound desperate and sincere. Mikado intervined and told me what to say… It wasn't me. It was not me who sounded desperate. Actually if I sounded desperate… If I sounded that way… It was because I feared the project's doom, not Izaya's feelings…

…

I would never say how disgusted I felt with myself. I sighed.

He made me feel as if he was a mere victim in this game of lies. A game I wish so dearly to win.

_Izaya…_

But still, Izaya as a person is the one who pushes me to the tomorrows and the future ahead; that's good. Heh, actually even if he made me go on, his intentions were different. I was pursuing to destroy something I helped build. His intentions… He rounded his world in order to squeeze my will for it to never return with the same determination it once held. And _that_ made me stand up stronger than before.

Why in the first place would he try to make me fall?

Izaya would never understand how deeply he made me hate myself.

I was bothered by something I never wished for; my strength. He made me despise every fiber of my skin; he made me cringe with disgust at my own reflection. Izaya made me think nobody deserved to be with a beast like me, he made me think I was the worst among the worst. Izaya made me this monster.

How couldn't I harbor such feelings for him? He made me feel this, and so I despise him equally.

In order to accept myself I should start with forgiving Izaya and the only path leading to this, would be winning _this game_; this _revenge._ I wanted vengeance.

I was sure… no I am sure that if I see the wretch in his eyes then I will be able to forgive him.

So I could start all over. I am damn sure.

I would never admit I didn't recognize myself. Anyone knowing me well enough would say that what I was doing was so un-me that it scared, well that's why I wouldn't tell Celty. I'm sure revenge wasn't the best way. But I wanted it. Celty would eventually make me drop the plan and I prefer this road, thank you very much.

I am aware of my actions.

I'm playing Izaya's game. The difference is just that he doesn't know I'm playing against him. Indeed; he doesn't know I'm playing at all, and that I already made the first move.

OOOO

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.

OOOO

"How do you think we are progressing?" I asked the wide group as I took a seat next to Erika's. That was the first time I realized how serious _we_ were_._ The place was seemingly tidy and the machinery was working perfectly well. The various screens were flat. I had a good view of everything I was actually witnessing, even better because it was being shown from different angles as well.

"I think we are doing fine, you know the second he asked for a proof and you offered a relationship was a bit rushed but it showed enough interest from you. He is going to buy it, I'm sure." Usagi commented with a side smirk and a coffee cup in his hand.

"I thought Izayan found out when he said "liar" with those wide puppy eyes!" Erika added her two unrequited coins. Yeah, I noticed the squalor in Izaya's eyes when he muttered those words too. _Why?_

"Erika-chan, you see Shizuo-kun was fast enough to cover it up!"

Somehow I hate Walker.

… but I hate Erika more.

"You were fine, Izaya is weird and you know that… keep pushing him and you will have it just how we want…" There it was; Kadota. "And the quicker you get with him in an established relationship, the quicker we get to enter his apar-"

"You have a flaw in your plan." I interrupted him.

"And that would be…? "

"I doubt that fucking flea won't notice I let you enter and install cameras all over his apartment. That flea is like a frisky cat… I'm serious about it."

"Didn't we talk about this already?" Kadota snorted bored.

….

….!

"I highly doubt you ever enlightened me with such vital information, I'm refusing to be using these cameras the whole project!" I was growing impatient.

"It's all about trust Shiz-"

"Oh fuck you all with that! Just how stupid do you all think Izaya is?" And that was clear, I wasn't risking that much without having a flawless plan spread all over this fucking table!

Izaya took the crap out of me when he said I was a liar. I thought he got me… Shit! I wasn't risking anything anymore.

…!

Mikado sighed, "Look Shizuo-kun I know we may sound untrustworthy but please, this plan moves according of how much trust you have gained from Iz-"

"Fuck you!" I pointed at Mikado, "Fuck you too!" I pointed at Kadota, "Fuck you all, even if you say it will be moving that way, you are not risking anything at all! You are just plainly sleeping on your asses while I do the dirty work, don't fuck with me! Don't you fuck with me and tell me you don't have the answers I seek. Tell me how on earth will the cameras go unnoticed by him?! Tell me when I know how perceptive and smart that fucking pest is!"

Silence.

…silence!

"You know what?!" The perplexity on their faces was clear; I was a dangerous specimen right now.

"Fuck you all, I'm out of this shit!"

Without waiting another second, I stormed out of the van. I ignored Mikado's voice trying to stop me, I heard Kida and I heard Kadota. .

OOOO

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**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

"I'm still impressed you are here again. As much as I find this amusing, I remember no other promise."

"Laugh all you want Shinra, I'm being fucking serious." My hands were fidgeting with the porcelain cup Shinra ever-so-kindly offered.

Shinra's smile fell. "See, I have no idea why are you using me as a psychologist, but-"

"He wants me to date him."

…

"Then freaking date him." That was said with a tired and hushed voice, it was as if Shinra was dealing with the same problem as before and in a way… he was.

"You say it as if it was easy."

He sighed again and sat down by my side. "It should be easy; it would be if you didn't judge him with your personal ruler, you get the idea?"

I locked my gaze on the nice porcelain tea-cup, maybe it was brought from- "He isn't like you."

…For Christ's sak- "I freaking know! I freaking know he is not a thing like me Shinra!"

"Then Izaya I will repeat, and let me tell you this is tiring; Shizuo says what his heart feels! He has been that way since ever. When he felt rage and hatred towards you, he spilled it with no problem. Now he wants you, he likes you and wants to date you, and I will stop calling my self Kishitani Shinra if he isn't meaning it."

"Shit!"

"Yeah, call me "Mr. Chicken Many-Teeth" if Shizuo isn't meaning every cheesy word you say he said!"

I chuckled lowly.

OOOO

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

"Shizuo-kun… please, don't be intransigent."

"It's just…" I sighed, "You are not even giving me the security that this is going to work."

"I told you already… Walker and Usagi already contacted LIBOCompany." Mikado half begged, half explained. "Usagi's brother works there, he lend us the things we need for this to work properly."

"I still don't understand what that fucking means…"

Mikado sighed, I was refusing to speak to Kadota or the otaku freaks or Kida, Mikado was the best option. He was trying to get me again with all this.

"LIBOCompany uses nano-technology, these are nano devices, nano cameras to be specific, no human eyes can perceive them that quickly nor slowly, they will be wall colored and they camouflage very well with its surroundings, actually many of the nano devices are created to spy around." Mikado explained as he handed me a cup of coffee, my nose cringed in disgust; Hate coffee's bitterness.

…?

"What? To spy around?"

"Yes. Nano technology works ten times better than conventional machinery, we have 10 nano cameras at our might. Shizuo-kun, he won't notice nano-devices."

"Well, I am not very sure of that… that pest is-"

"That's almost impossible. Izaya-san is still a human, take into account that nano-devices are free from sound and moving, Izaya wouldn't notice a dot of dust in the corner of the darkest of his house's spots." He smiled at me, he sounded very confident about the information.

"Nano devices are almost fifty or twenty times tinier that a conventional mini camera… MINI camera, if we are speaking of the convention camera then its hundred percent smaller."

I sighed, still trying to swallow as much information as I could… shit that sounded flea-like.

"Are you trying to say that Walker and Usagi have these cameras at our total use?"

"They are borrowed, but yes Shizuo-kun, ten to be specific."

"So the flea won't notice any red light and beep and-"

"No beeps and no red lights, nano-cameras won't be noticed. I give you my word. Izaya can be very perceptive and smart but he can't defy human's capacity, well you can in other terms but as much as we know, Izaya is pretty normal."

Normal my ass.

"So… Izaya won't… wait-"

Mikado sighed "Yes, Shizuo-kun?"

"What if the flea has any electronic detector, or any security device that tells him… or worse, what if the flea already has cameras inside?! Don't bullshit me and tell me that he doesn't use high quality technology!" Yes, I was going to question every single shit about this project.

Mikado laughed quietly. "Shizuo-kun it would be pretty weird to have the entire security collection-thing you imply Izaya-san must posses but just to make sure; we have an electronic device specified to find any electronic spot near the radium of the nano-cameras. Since we have ten, I'm sure we will be able to spot any alien camera of his- Izaya's."

"So what if he actually has them? He is an information broker after all. Wouldn't be weird if he actually owned cameras." Stupid sixteen years old boy, he didn't know who the fucking flea was.

"We then leave his cameras with "Phantom videos" Phantom videos means that the image they are producing are actually images of previous recording memories and not the actual scene. That's easy made and we don't even need a hacker. This way our cameras will be unnoticed and even if he has, we will be there for a couple of seconds; it's not as if his cameras will notice ours. The phantom videos will last a couple of days and he will NEVER notice a change."

I smiled lightly, so this is going smoothly as it should. "So it will be fine."

"Actually," Mikado kept with the speech, "I'm thankful you saw this coming. Without you, maybe things wouldn't have gotten so serious and we would have ended up using poor conventional cameras instead of the flawless ones we now owe. Shizuo-kun this is my way to tell you I'm thankful towards you."

I patted the head of the blue-eyed boy and smiled. "Yeah, sorry for the harsh words it's just that I didn't feel confident enough to keep this up, but now that I'm sure I have the whole plan to rely on…"

"Be sure… This is not going to fail…"

OOOO

I had my face buried in the fluff of my pillow; my mind being very absent of everything coherent. The night was lulling the entire Japan to sleep.

I wanted to sleep too.

I was just ready to drift into the arms of Morpheus when I heard my phone buzz to life.

_BUZZ_

Fuck.

I reached for the night-stand. My hand wrapped around the yellow device.

A message, from an unknown ID that is.

It was one single question, no more than a few words, I knew who it was. It was obvious. It was a short message, but filled with something more, maybe desperation, warmth and I could sense something I hardly ever imagined to find in a message from him.

I sensed Innocence. Innocence about the whole situation; I gulped.

_[Shizu-chan… you meant it all?] _

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**OOOO**

**A/N: Sorry for the late update.**

**Review and Follow**

**Venemous Syring**


	5. Chapter 4: Gold

**TITLE: **** RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan. **

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and it´s YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Durarara!**_

_**Special thanks to my BETA Shirohime – Shizaya stories- who will be making this possible. **_

_**I mean… REALLY, she should write this :) **_

_**Love you sis :D**_

_**DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to my inspiration and my dear sister – Shirohime – Shizaya stories. –**_

OOOO

CHAPTER FOUR:

**GOLD**

OOO

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**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

My arm extended and my hand reached frontward until my fingers brushed against the black ashes and vestiges spread all over the coffee table in front of me. I sat, with my back hunched over and my elbows rested over my knees.

"Roses for me, huh?" The flaky remains of petals were bitterly annihilated under my fingers.

Every bits of information that I gathered all over the years were useless right now. I didn't have an answer, but I didn't have questions either. I was drowning in a constant ambiguity and I have no rope to hang on while I tried to put my doubts together. Ambiguity… I wasn't there, or here. I was sure and I was not. I had doubts but I didn't have questions. I didn't have answers but I wished I didn´t have so many.

I stood up from my seat and sighed. I just came from Shinra's place. I resolute I would sleep the rest of the day off- even if it was night already-; hoping against all odds that I would shake this feeling off.

I finally reached my bedroom on the second floor; opening the door and closing it behind me.

My mind wouldn't stop jeopardizing the situation, it made it even shoddier.

What should I do? What should _I_ do? Rather, what would Orihara Izaya do in a moment like this? My legs carried me forward in my room until I was in front of the full body-length mirror.

Yes, Orihara Izaya, because somehow I didn't know the man in the mirror anymore.

I didn't know him. I didn't know this strange epitomized man.

I was shattered between this unknown man and my old self. If the man in the mirror was my new self, subsequently I could conclude, he was totally lost, or maybe not lost… maybe confounded. In fact, I would have to choose. I would have to decide who to be. Now I was aware that they were the opposite.

They would surely act differently.

I still wasn't sure. How could I be? I was stepping on foreign lands. I was letting me walk on roads untraveled.

…to say at least

I was so scared.

…

Never in my life had I thought I would think that.

_Shizu-chan… _

I was derelict between all this because of him. How easy it seemed to him. How was it possible that someone that _free_ existed? He just said he likes me. He isn't even aware of the havoc he induced inside of me.

Maybe the anxiousness, my silence must have produced in him was even worse.

Well but who said he felt anxious?

In all these years I interacted with Shizu-chan, I never once stopped to talk to him, other than the teasing, we didn't speak at all. That meant I knew nothing of him.

I simpered.

In a matter of seconds I dragged myself underneath the black silk sheets and I moved and cluttered around until I was comfortable enough to call it a comfy cocoon. I couldn't stop my hands from trembling.

Afar from everything I could imagine this to be, for all the mayhem I imagined it to become, I still had an unbreakable hope; Shizuo was nothing like me. Though I was afraid of my own limits, I knew that no matter what, he would always have a different mind and different limits as well.

For me who always longed for his brain to snap and notice my irrevocable longing, what wrong would it do to follow my wishes and not my brain's concordance?

We would never match as two equals, but we could match as two broken selves. We would be fine if someone as broken as ourselves were there to catch before the fall.

For all I cared people could go and hide from Shizuo, afraid of what he might do. I wouldn't mind any hostile relation to be honest. Who said my feelings for him were unadulterated? I was aware of the lack of spotlessness and I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

I wanted him in my own perverse way, for all I minded he could want me with all the deceitfulness in the world. I would make sure he could count on the fact that no matter what, I would love him until the world stopped existing, and I hoped for the same.

I curled my fingers around my black phone and started typing almost immediately.

I would have to shake off my senses and give in to him.

I wanted to be his.

I had to make a rapid move or I would start vacillating… because no matter how well I did my work in auto-suggesting, I was still scared. I still felt that urge to stop it all… I was still trembling and to be honest…

I was still unsure.

_[Shizu-chan… you meant it all?] _

OOOO

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

I closed my eyes.

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, still not sure if it was for the message's content, the intrinsic innocence his words conveyed or because the thought of Izaya texting me in a civil manner made me want to puke.

[I meant it Izaya… Every single word]

…

_BUZZ_

_[You asked me out] _

…

[Yeah, I know. I'm still waiting for an answer]

…

The seconds turned into minutes and I was growing impatient. Why was he taking that long to answer? After my last message marked 10 minutes since it was sent, I figured he wasn't going to answer any time soon. I placed my phone on the night-stand again, and determined tried to sleep.

Once I was ready to drift into a deep slumber; I cursed.

_BUZZ BUZZZZZZ_

Fuck! I rapidly grabbed the device and cursed again and again as I saw the unknown number in the screen, this time it wasn't a message. It was a call.

_Damn!_

_!_

_!_

My heart started to beat frantically and I had to slap my forehead to snap out of my distress and not miss the call. Why was he calling? Didn't he know it was easier in texts?

_Shit!_

"Hello?" I finally answered.

…

…

…

"… _Shizu-chan…"_

Damn it! Damn it! I couldn't help my heart from drumming this loud, what if he heard?

"Izaya…"

Shit, I didn't sound as sure as I did when I texted. I started to work in easing my breathing. I had to compose myself.

_Relax…_

"_I just wanted to be sure it was you…" _

…

Somehow the tranquil and serene tone of his voice made me settle down a little, was Izaya right now this diplomatic and restful? What if he called and I discovered him to be an unsteady mess? I was definitely grateful he was this unruffled by the whole situation.

"Why wouldn't it be me?"

I felt my heart steadying slowly as I breathed in and out, of course paying attention to the situation and avoiding breathing heavily on the phone, so Izaya wouldn't perceive it.

"_Could be a prank…" _

…

"How would it be a prank if I told you face to face? And let me inform you I am the only one owning this phone-number." My head hit the pillow with a soft thud; I didn't feel as exasperated as I felt when he first called. I sighed.

"_You could have given me a fake one… just for fun." _He explained.

Izaya's voice was a bit hushed over the phone. I doubted he was with someone though.

"I don't see anything funny in lying to someone." My throat dried a little the moment I said that. I knew why I felt as if _that_ truth was a lie.

…

I swallowed.

_Come on Shizuo, act nice… you can do this…_

I heard a chuckle and my lips tugged upwards a little. I kind of liked that sound.

"_Yeah, figured." _

Do you know that feeling where you feel as if the stroke is coming on? But later… in just the slightest of a second you realize it is nothing of the sorts? Why would I be scared of Izaya? It's just the flea…

The fucking flea… nothing to be scared of.

"Yeah. I actually didn't expect you to call."

"_I wasn't going to… but then I thought it would be more appropriate…"_

"Appropriate? For what? Or why?"

"_You seriously are a brainless oaf; obviously it would be more appropriate to speak of the matters at least hearing each other's voice than a plain text."_

"Ahhh, right."

I heard him laugh.

"Flea!" I threatened loudly.

"_Shhh… Shizu-chan it is too late to be yelling…"_ He hushed me in a strange soft manner.

I was scared I could be diagnosed with bipolarity since I rapidly grinned at the obvious playful tone of the flea.

He laughed again and this time I joined him for at least the shortest of times.

"Why are you being so hushed? Is anyone with you? I bet someone is with you" I jokingly asked.

He laughed again. "_Jealous already? No, it's just that I don't feel like being loud…"_ I grinned. _"Shizu-chan is now being hushed too…"_

Damn nickname.

"Well, I don't want you to be hushing me every five seconds, and yeah, jealous, why not?"

"_Using sarcasm, huh?"_ I could imagine the smirk on his face stretching with every second that passed. I was impressed, he was being himself, slowly but surely we were recovering some of our past but somehow I knew this conversation wasn't anything near to what we used to be. Complicated, it was. _"So Shizu-chan wouldn't be jealous if I blatantly said I was with someone?"_

…

"I would. After all, I like you. Don't I?" I grinned. I bet he didn't expect that.

Silence.

"Flea?"

"_I don't know… you tell me. After all, you are the one who wouldn't be jealous."_

Tch.

"Who said I was being sarcastic? And how many times you need to hear it to believe me?"

…

Was he hesitating? Of what?

…

…

?

"Izaya?"

"_One more time..."_

So quiet… I could barely hear him.

"What?"

"_Tell me you like me one more time and I'm yours…"_

…

!

"W-what!?" The hushed voice and the strong meaning of those words made me stammer and blush against my will. What's with the sudden change of topic!?

"_No more questions, no more qualms, it would be a yes to your proposal and I'm completely yours…"_

I could almost guarantee he made a big effort to say those words. His voice didn't sound confident like I was used to hear. It sounded weak, desperate, innocent… but most of all, he sounded vulnerable.

I gulped.

He was obviously waiting for my answer. I knew this would be celebrated by the guys of the project but deep inside, my heart wished Izaya didn't give this step and at the same time I was so giddy he did. This was the part where I win. This was the part where my vengeance finally appeared to be possible.

"I like you."

I heard his breathing hitch at my voice.

…

This was my opportunity.

"I like you so damn much. I want you Izaya… I want you to be mine."

**OOOO**

**AN/ Short update less than 2000 words, but I felt as if the other chapter had to start apart from the calling and the texting. So this is basically pure feelings, decisions, calling and texting. I mean it's really a short update anyways.**

**Review.**


	6. Chapter 5: Safe Walls

**TITLE: **** RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan.**

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Durarara!**_

_**Special thanks to my BETA Shirohime – Shizaya stories- who will be making this possible. Guys, seriously this girl is my sun ;) Send her virtual hugs :D**_

_**DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to my inspiration and my dear sister – Shirohime – Shizaya stories. –**_

OOOO

CHAPTER FIVE:

**SAFE WALLS**

OOO

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

"I still don't understand what you are mad about, I think I did it great.", I mumbled, however, my voice was loud enough for him to hear, my hands reached my mouth to place a new cigarette.

"You don't understand? Really?" Kadota was clearly irritated. I could be worse. "We didn't get to record _that _conversation! You threw your clothes off, only God knows where! We could have recorded the complete conversation if yo-"

I growled "Look Kadota, I'm doing my best! If you didn't record it, then that was _your _part to fulfill, _my_ part is well done! I'm going as far as I can. Now if you are incompetent enough to be unsuccessful on your part then it's your fucking problem, not mine." He shook his head in annoyance.

"Shizuo, you are talking non-sense, even if I were careful to watch for your very move you would have equally ended up throwing your clothes off anywhere but in your bedroom, you actually have to help u-"

"Oh, forget it if you thought I would tell you my every move, that it's your fucking part of the plan; to try to follow our every move, Izaya's and mine." My patience level was at its brink to detonate. I was going to kill Kadota for sure "So don't fuck with me right now! I told you, I convinced the flea to date me and I did it great!"

He compressed his teeth "Yes, and that's awesome! But we still aren't installed in Izaya's house!"

"So?" Yes, I was being obdurate, but who cares?

"_So?_ You have to keep a _close-eye_ and be sure the cameras are near you whenever it comes to be about Izaya."

I howled, I did a great job and this asshole would make me feel the opposite.

I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder; I turned to meet with Mikado's worried gaze.

"Shizuo-kun… Kadota is right." Okay, fuck them all. "I mean, congratulations, you did a remarkable job as you said. I'm sure it wasn't easy to induce Izaya much less persuade him to date you and we are glad you finally gave the most difficult step ahead. But, and yes Shizuo-kun there is a "but" here."

I heaved a sigh; this kid always spoke with a strange incontestable consistency. I could never come up with a better comeback much less with an anger-filled rejoinder.

"See, we can't go back in time and try to record the important conversation but we can tell you that until we get to install our cameras inside Izaya-san's apartment, you have to help us there, which means; keep a meticulous eye over the cameras on your body, because right now they are our only eyes. Without them, we are only wasting time."

I gulped and suddenly I felt as if I was listening to my brother Kasuka because I also nodded obediently as I would with him.

"Okay" He smiled at me.

I shifted my gaze from him to my feet, which seemed more interesting with each second that passed-

"ShizuuuuuuuuuuShizuuuuuuuuuu!" I cringed at the irritating female voice.

"What?" _God damn it…_

Erika stood up from her seat and dashed towards me until we were face to face.

"ShizuShizu, what will you do with him today?"

_With the pest?_

"Wha- ugh, nothing…" I finally lifted my lighter, but before I could light the cigarette she spoke.

"Aw… pity…" Her expression moped with displeasure but in a mere second her eyes beamed happily.

_Is she bipolar?_

She squeaked as my eyebrow rose debatably. _What the hell._ In a blink of an eye Erika leaned into my ear to whisper-ask "When will you kiss him?"

…

…

Fuck. Her.

OOOO

Why did suddenly everyone seem more annoying than before?

I was walking nowhere and my feet were starting to hurt. I was cursing that I had nothing to do to keep my mind from wondering. Tom messaged me this morning to tell me I would have the next month free since he was travelling to see I don't know who. It didn't bother me in the sense that I would earn money without doing much, but it bothered the fact that it was part of my routine.

Oh curse it.

I was still thinking about that louse…

What the hell was wrong with him? I guess the best thing to do was paying him a visit…

...right?

OOOO

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**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

I have always been aware of the prevailing strength words can behold. But no potent words were ever used in me. I have always used powerful words to make people stagger down. But I declare again, words never had a mayus effect, at least not on me.

The moment those words escaped from his mouth, I couldn't do much. I could only do what I am used to do.

Escape. Run.

…so

I hung up the phone.

…

I exhaled noisily.

I know I asked him to say those words, other than, I certainly didn't hope for him to say them, more less what he said later. I can't even deal with the things I get from what I solicit.

He called several times after I hung up. However, I didn't want to answer. How could I? Not to say… I was starting to get humdrum. Why? Because; Foremost I run, subsequent I run, and following I run and finally I run. I was running quite often. Heh, I was getting predictable, I was becoming easily foreseen and more likely envisaged.

…but.

…

"_I like you so damn much. I want you Izaya… I want you to be mine."_

I felt my lips tugging slightly upwards… But it wasn't one of my usual simpers… I felt this little smile emerging from the depths of my soul… I felt something frostbit starting to thaw out.

We are dating, aren't we?

At least in the most ridiculous possible way, but it is true anyways.

My hands fidgeted with my cell phone as I once again found myself questioning my every action.

I closed my eyes and I still couldn't seem to grasp this was in point of fact taking place. I pushed every feeling unfathomable down my chest and I figured it would be healthier if I kept them unscathed forever. But somehow, those simple words… those three little words were carried with the profound longing I preferred to forget. Those words made me wish to disengage at least just an inch the lock, I so scrupulous keep padlocked.

By hook or by crook, I started to have a high regard for Shizuo…

He projected what I would perhaps never have. Shizuo was liberated, he was carefree and like Shinra said, Shizuo uttered what he undergoes with no internal mayhem. He says what he feels, directly and honestly.

I am still petrified by this and I still feel the damned pandemonium mounting by every second that passes… I learned to live with this bedlam and I learned to brace it, so this courageous step to accept _these_ feelings for him and his feelings for me, means more to me than it could mean to anyone else.

One part of me braced even tighter the fears and uncertainness that kept me secure from this world, the frights I knew existed made me want to give up on this little bit of hope without even trying, but the other half of me, the one that felt the immutable and unalterable hope bursting from everywhere, knew we could try this… that we could make things work… without accepted wisdom... without dithering that much…

Knowing me… discerning my every trace; I knew this internal pessimistic clamor would be difficult to forget about… it would be problematic to manage and free. I never thought I would have to evaluate all this, at least not for him, not for Shizu-chan.

_**KNOCK KNOCK**_

"Coming…" I absently mumbled.

I was obscured and hard-pressed into a deep negative hedonism and slight self-indulgence that I didn't differentiate much when my sitting position became a fully standing one, ready to rush to the principal door, didn't divergence in the way my mind whispered things I so adamantly wished to push away and when my fingers started to set in motion against the security password controller, and of course didn't find incongruity of scenes when my door was closed and so swiftly pushed open.

I stood there, numb. I was letting my guard down but it was a mere second of pure decadence.

Just when a pair of fingers belonging to a warm hand, clutched softly at my chin and straightened my face up, successfully lifting my downcast eyes to lock eyes with mocha ones did I become aware of my current situation.

"Izaya…"

FOR FUCK'S SAK-

I adamantly pushed his hand away from my face and in a blink of an eye; I felt my self consistency returning. Just what the hell was that?

"Shizu-chan!?"

He sighed and thought I was still surprised by his sudden visit, I was more curious as to why he did _that_.

Still…

Shit, I must have appeared blank and vacant when he came.

I smirked, my lips stretching. Even if I would give in to him, it didn't mean I would give my own depravity aside… I refused to be tamed easily. Truth to my word; I would be his. But I wouldn't dissipate my own essence and bury it inside the long coffin of bottomless memories.

Somehow, being face to face with Shizuo made me feel disappointed of my own weakness displaying.

"Ah, Shizu-chan… you scared me~ what brings you here?" I stepped aside to let him enter. I tried to add a cool yet playful pitch in my voice. I wouldn't let him see through me. Sure, my desires and love for this man were enough to want to show myself as I am, but my own resistance mechanism would not let me, at least not yet, plain life logic.

"Told you already, but you seemed to be lost deep inside wonderland…" His tone seemed apathetic of my presence and the whole situation, save for the slight amused grin on his face, I could swear he was about to rip my head off my shoulders. But just who the hell told him to visit me?

The thought alone that he was bothered by my presence even if_ he_ came to my place, bothered me to no end this day, maybe it was because of my latest self-diggings. Also, I found it aggravating that Shizu-chan was bothered by my presence when he should be elated.

…

…because

He is my… lover isn't he?

But then again, I remember myself being unruffled by the thought of a hostile relationship. Was that even considered as unsympathetic? Well I accepted hostility and irritation but I never thought he wouldn't like me while being hostile, did that make any sense? Stupid oaf, the things he made me feel.

"Care to declare it again because I was presently distracted, however," I smirked as I moved my hands hoping they would explain better than my words. I could see Shizu-chan eyeing me gruffly as I didn't stop. "You should understand, one does not simply vague in life with nothing more than a pea inside the cranium, one has an information-stuffed brain with important issu-"

"Shut the hell up!" Shizuo interrupted me, how rude. "Shit, just ask for repetition, god damnit…" he sighed and sat down in the black cushions of my living room. "Just wanted to see you, besides, you ended the call very harshly…"

If you wanted to see me then why are you angry?

He shrugged nonchalantly and added; "Wanted to know why, perhaps," His expression changed, his lips twitched upwards and his eyes beamed with amuse, "Perhaps I got you nervous?"

_What?_

Somehow… I couldn't reply at that second and _somehow_ the snap came a second too late, he continued. "Ah yeah, the great Orihara Izaya alias flea, got nervous hmmm?"

"What?" I gasped, "I _what?!_ What are you talking about Shizu-chan…?" I breathed and tried to collect myself. I saw he raised an eyebrow amused by my exasperation. I leered.

"Oh well, maybe it is Shizu-chan who's reverie would come true to see me all nervous and flustered, isn't it?" I retorted back, not expecting such snap from him later.

"Maybe."

His simplicity and frankness always left me bewildered

"Maybe? Not even sure?" I mocked though those words tingled something alive inside of me. He stood up from his seat and headed towards my kitchen.

"My, getting comfy here~" I sang while my hands' palms rested against my hips as I observed mischievously his next move. I knew my words fell on deaf ears, since the rummaging was uninterrupted.

At least I evaded the call under discussion.

I sighed, _Shizu-chan what the hell do you think you are doing, better say, what are you thinking about?_

Shizu-chan rummaged through the large modern fridge mumbling something like "Rabbit food, boring, disgusting…" and abandoned it without much success about whatever he wanted or expected to find there. "Mhm… uh… flea? No milk here? Woah, how do you survive?"

Of course, I didn't like sweet beverages…

He finally closed the fridge and better rested his weight on it, expecting me to come closer.

I sighed and approached him, "I don't survive Shizu-chan, that's exactly what differences us, while you survive, I live."

Shizu-chan didn't seem very happy at my last comment, his eyebrow twitched with annoyance, and his eyes held that unbreakable rudeness; still I couldn't find any sign that he liked me, not at all. "A straightforward; I don't drink milk would have been enough, I don't know why you keep on pestering me flea, we are supposed to be dating."

…

Exactly, you brute!

"Ah~ then Shizu-chan might as well enlighten me with his "dating" ideal, right?"

I was _challenging_ him.

And I was being serious.

…

…

…

"Sure."

Sure? Wait, wh-

With no further explication, Shizu-chan took my arm and forcibly pressed my body to his, with a firm but gentle push he trapped me between the fridge box and his body. He leaned slowly towards me until his nose pressed my ear. I immediately felt shivers ran up and down my spine and shoulder blades, his breathing was rather unsteady as his voice came in a low whisper. "Let's start again, how does that sound? Since you want to know my ideals…"

"What ar-"

"Let's pretend I just came here and let's pretend you asked me about how my day was, let's pretend I bored you slightly because I extended my speech about how boring my work day was."

His warm hands found mine and in a swift thus far gentle move, his hands intertwined with mine, hoisting them up until they were each beside my head as if he was forcing me to keep them still.

I swallowed, _this proto-_ "Let's pretend you came near me and offered me a cup of tea since you acquire no milk, but promised to buy stocks of it soon, let's pretend I declined the tea offer since it makes me sleepy and let's pretend I kissed you deeply."

…!?

"S-Shizu-chan…"

"Lets pretend you backed slightly because you felt we are acting like a year-dating couple and let's pretend I found your shyness oddly adorable, le-"

"H-hey I wouldn't back off! That would be too out of character coming from me, now Shizu-"

"Shut up we are almost_ here_…" He growled lowly, still whispering with a raspy voice and I was still trapped between the fridge and him.

Almost _here?_ What does that even mea-

"Let's pretend you backed off a bit more with an adorable dust in your cheeks and let's pretend that when I trapped you between the fridge and myself, your breathing became obviously agitated by nervousness…"

?!

"Now we are _exactly_ here with exactly that _last _part _untouched_ by the "let's pretend" that means we are frozen exactly in that last part." I could almost swear his lips were elongating slightly in a grin as he spoke.

I wasn't prepared for any of this.

I didn't even envisage us in this embarrassing situation. My mouth opened slightly, I finally found my voice "Why, Shizu-chan is insinuating I am right now… nervous? But that's derisory, not to say laughable" I smirked.

_I am still a combatant Shizu-chan; don't forget that, a strong one at that._

"I am very sure of what I am saying."

I sneered.

"Why would I be nervous under such a disagreeable monster like you? If I'm feeling something then it should be abhorrence or even awareness of my own life's danger."

I was expecting a growl; a howl or something of the sorts, however, my expectations always seemed absurd with a man like Shizuo around. Because when I braced myself for the guttural reply for my teasing a low and amused chuckle plagued my ear drums.

"We wouldn't be dating if you contemplated that for _real_, would we?" He made his emphasis pretty obvious, and I was just insulting manifestly because I was running out of retorts.

"I-I'm sure I can be as unpredictable as you." Okay, I was playing the big-loser card because that obviously had to be funny to make him laugh like that.

…

I took a deep breath while being as quiet as one could breathe without making any noise as possible.

I could, to some extent, smell his masculine cologne mixed up with the strong scent of tobacco, and it wasn't that bad, the combination made the fragrance enjoyable. I sighed, -maybe a bit edgy, but I didn't know of what-.

"You are in fact, nervous Izaya…" He murmured in a soft undertone that made my whole world stagger down with questions, scruples, niggles and objections.

"Am not!" I snapped back, my gaze was inert, defiant fairly rebellious and I wasn't planning in tottering down any time soon.

He chortled lowly and I heard him sigh, contentedly nonetheless. "Since you won't keep up with it, let's call it a day, enough of the "Let's pretend", yeah?" Not a fucking single centimeter away, he did not budge a single centimeter away from me, his nose was still pressing firmly at my ear while his mouth was just to connect to it.

I moved slightly, clearly giving away my obvious discomfort and my need for my oh-so precious personal space. Conversely, Shizuo didn't move. He just lowered softly his mouth until I jolted.

I felt his warm lips pressing against my cheek and with a soft pressure, he kissed me. It was a mere "chu" kiss, a mere peck on the cheek, but it was enough to push me down the marine of mystification. I didn't know if I disliked it, loathed it or if I craved for more.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow." Without comprehending any further of the scenes displayed in front of my eyes, Shizu-chan being the complex individual he was, turned to face the door. His steps were sure and he didn't wobble, he just opened the door and left.

Leaving me stunned.

Leaving me confused.

Leaving me scared.

Leaving me **happy.**

.

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

I was disgusted.

I felt aghast throughout the whole meeting.

That was sickening, revolting, nauseating and it was the most repulsive thing I have ever done.

Appalling… Izaya is simply appalling.

I sighed tiredly as I turned the door knob of my door. I crossed the threshold in the dark apartment and was welcomed by nothing more than darkness "I'm home" I mumbled, knowing nobody would ever reply. I closed the door behind me and locked it.

I left my shoes at the entrance of my apartment and was about to toss my bartender uniform right there when my discussion with Kadota and Mikado reminded me to do better.

_Ah, shit… _Even if they referred to be near my clothes if I took them off _ONLY_ if the flea was around, I decided to not throw them here, because, what if the louse decided to text me, or worse; call me? I knew better and preferred to change clothes in my bedroom.

I dragged my heavy-feeling feet to my bedroom that was just a few meters separated from the living room.

How far would I go to achieve vengeance? To actually see him blush under my ministrations and whispers made me want to puke, yet made me feel very culpable, like if I was the scum bag here. Izaya's nervousness made me laugh with the fleeting amusement of an already-won war, even if the conclusions were much anticipated.

As I took my time to watch Izaya without thundering behind him, I found his ranting much more easy to comprehend. Izaya spoke way too much even if he was nervous and it only gave up his inner upheaval.

Back when my hands caressed his, while I was whispering in his ear, I found his hands a clear signalization of his true face, rather his true emotions. Though I could fake concern in warming them up with my own hands, I was crudely trying to figure out why were they so cold. Then realization hit me; Izaya was nervous.

In a game like this, where you play a master's card, rather; when you play the "unconquerable soul" or the "indomitable heart" a nervous-fit means only one thing:

…weakness

It is very unusual of me to be thinking in the same crazy demeanor Izaya does. But one thing I realized; if I want to win over Izaya, then, I might as well understand his rules and play his game. Fairly enough, I just started to understand it, I would play it and I would win this competition

This wasn't about _his_ strategies anymore, this wasn't a stupid "tough face" this was deeper than that and I'm sure Izaya is merely a titanium face with a crystal heart. For others it may sound horrendous to consider but for me… it was perfect.

I just realized this now, because a day ago I thought Izaya had a none existing heart but just now I assume he does posses one; a fragile one but it is still back, rotten, decomposed and putrefied.

This meant many things, a perfect prospect, a faultless opportunity; a better chance to do this absolutely fine.

I recollected my thoughts a few hours ago; I wouldn't have accepted this plan if my subconscious knew Izaya was strong enough, would I? Deep inside I knew it… deep inside I knew how easy he could be wrecked and that, I just realized it a few seconds go… Maybe I knew this man more than he could ever know me.

If I touched his crystal without breaking it earlier, I might be able to fulfill my mission by taking the crystal to the others in order to expose it as fragile as it is.

Today, Izaya showed me a bit of it, so easily, devoid of much endeavor and effort.

Without too much Izaya showed me a feeble side, even if he tried to mask it with his filthy masquerades, he couldn't, at least not to my eyes.

He was relinquishing for more warm touches and more sweet words.

_Just how desperate are you Izaya?_

_Just how lonely you feel?_

_Did you surrender to a few and random sweet words, some flirting and by me no less… Are you so desperate for some attention?_

For some unknown reason that I truly and with all honesty don't know, the idea of Izaya surrendering so easily to anyone and to whomever that crossed his path with the intention of flirting made me feel sick, somewhat angry.

…_slut_

…

Or could it be that Mikado was right… or at least what he suggested a couple of days ago when I first said Izaya, I liked him… that maybe Izaya liked me from the beginning, that maybe Izaya already had strong emotions towards me.

Maybe that's why he _"surrendered"_ that easily to me, because maybe he longed to receive any caress from m-

JUST what the fucking hell am I thinking? That would be even_ MORE_ dreadful.

_Tch!_

_Fuck you Izaya!_

If that theory happened to be true, thought it would be a cruel, unkind, nasty plan to achieve; I'm dying to accomplish it, just to see his face distort with pain to finally fulfill my desire for vengeance.

That man deserves neither pity nor compassion from my part.

With so much horrendous and atrocious disgust I felt throbbing in my veins for Izaya, I didn't have time to regret that I just took an irreversible step and that I went even_ lower_ than anyone could have gone just to destroy someone's heart.

OOOO

.

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.

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**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

Something felt so fine….

I still couldn't understand it well but I was merry for it, because Shizuo and I were _finally _dating….

After so many years, _Heh, Stupid protozoan… you get to get my feelings about 6 or 7 years late,_ well not that late… I was still feeling it; I just learned to bury it, but as much as I see I didn't even learn to bury them well.

Because my hands were still tingling pleasantly where he caressed and my cheek felt inflamed even if it was perfectly fair. To know I could have all of _it_ anytime and everywhere…. It would be a matter of time.

I leered as I walked trough the seas of people I loved so much, but today I wasn't planning on paying them much attention. With all honesty I felt it was a surreal dream, not true at all. My feet skidded happily here and there and I could almost swear my whole body was hopping by its own accord and I couldn't do much but let my lips stretch all they wanted.

I was walking directly to the nearest shop market.

Somehow, aside from the absurd happy state my mind was bewitched with; I found that this state also bugged me to no end.

Was I too silly? Did I let my intentions nude for his eyes to behold? But then again, Shizu-chan sounded so…

_Warm…_

Good, real? Which one was the right word to articulate? I smiled lightly and for the very first time in my life I thanked that Shizuo was so unpredictable and also so different from me.

I was still pissed by how he seemed to effortlessly confuse me; I was still moody about how easily he dominated me and how easy it was to fluster me. But somehow I set up and found myself buying a large stock of fresh milk, hoping against everything that could come to interfere, that tomorrow the "let's suppose" turned to be real life episodes; one by one.

**OOOO**

**AN/ Guys, guys sorry for the late update but I also wanted to say a couple of things Vv* I receive around 12 or 15 NEW followers and favorites with each chapter, and it's a bit disheartening that you won't leave a review, so please, don't be lazy and leave one. Considering I'm a review whore and If you like the story and hope to read more THEN leave reviews or I am not updating xD I'm serious.**

**Also I wanted to thank the ones who left a review, there are a couple reviews that impressed me, not only for the review's length but for its content, thank you for the analysis you made about the characters and I'm thankful you like how I portray them, thank you very much for your nice, nice words and I'm glad you think they are In-character.**

**BeatoSama**** My god, your enthusiastic review really made me smile, thank you very much. I'm really thankful to have reviewers like you, I honestly appreciate your reviews, please keep reviewing what you think, and I really take into account your reviews.**

**Sammo.o**** Thank you very very much! Your reviews are always sweet! You have been with me since this started am I right? Or at least you are not new, that makes me smile, knowing I have a couple of people who are really following this story. I laughed at your last remark **_**"Estupido Shizuo" **_**si, bastante estupido ;)**

**Flesh Delirium**** Your review really left me stunned, THANK YOU very much for your analysis, I'm so thankful you took your time to write all that, I hope I still have you here, I hope you like how the story is flowing and I really appreciate deeply reviews like yours.**

**Nobody is less important, thank you all who left nice words, I'm glad chapter 5 received so many nice reviews even if it was the shortest I have ever written, this chapter was I think longer but if you leave reviews, I'll be sure to be faster and my chapters longer ;)**

**VenemousSyring (No guys, I didn't mean VenomousSyringe) shees xD**


	7. Chapter 6: Glimmer

**TITLE: **** RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan.**

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Durarara!**_

_**Special thanks to my BETA Shirohime – Shizaya stories- who will be making this possible. **_

_**I truly love her so check her out and please review, an author gets frustrated without reviews. Love her, she is my angel :) So check her amazing work, you know what? I almost swear everyone knows about her work, isn't she fantastic?**_

_**DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to my inspiration and my dear sister – Shirohime – Shizaya stories. –**_

OOOO

CHAPTER SIX:

**GLIMMER **

OOO

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**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

"That would be 8244.54 ¥ (68.89 $) thank you for your time but the session is over." That's how Shinra received me when he opened the door.

"Why, you should be glad I trust my good old doctor." I snickered as I made my way past the threshold of his apartment. "Besides, you are already handing your tax on me even though we haven´t spoken yet at all."

"But, Celty is here," Shinra's hand intertwined with merriness "And she feels better with a hundred meter distance from you." His eyes still beamed happily as he spoke.

"And yet she works for me…" I retorted, setting myself across his couch. I smiled widely at him. Shinra disappeared from my vision´s radius, probably into the kitchen.

"Money makes us do _undesirable _things~ Izaya" I heard him utter from where I guessed he could be. I heard porcelain clattering too. Anyone would say we were trapped in an antagonistic tension but, actually the amused grin that was plastered on Shinra's face as he returned from the kitchen, said the opposite, and even made me think he was glad I came to visit.

"Speaking about undesirable things…" I sighed, not dropping my trademark menacing smirk. "I bought milk," Shinra sat down on the couch where I rested, "Tons of it."

Shinra handed me a cup of hot lemon tea. "You did? Why's that? Trying to go back to childhood and decode something about the reason of your wrecked behavior?"

_Very, funny_

"If I could do that, then I'm sure, I would be even more interested in your strange childhood since you are, and always will be a very strange specimen. I have no doubts about my current actions' display, and in comparison to the doubts I have about you, I totally figured myself out anyway."

Shinra grinned while he sipped silently at his tea cup. "… And did you already figure out that, exactly what you just said is nothing more than bullshit? If you already had yourself _figured out_, then I guess you wouldn't be here."

He was unnecessarily pushing the wrong buttons here.

…

"And who said I was here, expecting some, better say: seeking some answers from you about me?"

And I was getting bitter. The way he was observing me, made me get goosebumps, was he scrutinizing me?

"Because, you know, I know you."

…

"Then you are saying I am here for that reason-"

"Izaya-" He stopped me with his hands in the air as an act of peace, "Not saying you said anything, but let's say I know you enough, however, what's the point in arguing over something so stupid?"

I sighed, "But Shinra~" I let my lips stretch again, "I was here to have a friendly talk, you have to accept that you were being rude just because you wanted to be~"

My left eye winked, "And you didn't even get the right answer, I wasn't here because I had any doubt, as I might perhaps inform you…"

…

"Oh…"

"You see? You were an ass with no justification~"

Shinra sighed and rubbed his temples with his thumb and index finger.

"I'm sorry Izaya, didn't mean it." To my surprise as always, Shinra apologized with a jovial grin. "Sweet Celty has been refusing to touch m-"

"Shinra, the day that my work requires to know about your sexual life, will be the day I will drop being an informant." I sipped on my own cup tea, "Until then, that information is avoidable, but I do accept your apologizes"

"Yeah, yeah, when you come here speaking about sex,_ that_ will be my exact answer." Shinra rolled his eyes, "Geez, you can use me to speak about your matters but whom poor Kishitani Shinra will speak to? Nobody!"

I grinned, "First, there is no way in hell you could ever use my exact sentence if you aren't an informant and seco-"

"I'm hurt"

I chortled out loud, "Okay, you can tell me before I go."

"Deal, your doctor has business to be liberated from, aching to share and let g-"

"Shinra, you speak too much."

Though my expression became serious, the amusement in my eyes wouldn't lie, he smiled along with me, ready to listen to whatever I could speak of, in a way, this place, or rather this human being, made me feel comfortable, well, just now he… he made me feel as if he needed my presence just for the slight fraction, at least to speak of his own problems.

Shinra would let me know information about him and his most precious devotion. Somehow he was admitting… I was also his friend.

"What did he say about it?"

Shinra adjusted his glasses, "To be honest, he hasn't even dropped by lately. If I know something, it's because of you."

"Oh." I didn't even know why I asked him.

"Wait, " Shinra said, "If you started saying you bought milk and you don't drink it, then I might assume it is for Shizuo, then I gladly presume things worked between the two of you…"

_Heh, bastard_

"Yeah…"

Shinra lowered his head a bit, "I still don't know why you are informing me…" The smile never left his face.

"Because you knew about the bad, what do I lose telling you the good? Call it a favor…"

His head snapped back to meet eyes with me. "A favor?"

"I gave you something to speak with Celty, since I don't win nor lose anything about informing you, let's call it a friendly gift."

Shinra laughed quietly as I placed the cup of tea on the coffee table, "As amusing as admitting that would be, I don't share your secrets with my beloved Celty, and it isn't as if she cared about you."

"But who said she would be interested in the information because of me, I'm sure she would be if it's about Shizu-chan."

Shinra shook his head, "Look every word you say is unnecessarily confusing, why you don't just simply say you are dating him, with not more arguments interfering from you, and that you are happy and came to gawk at it with me, expecting me to jump along with you."

…

I laughed out loud.

"You expect me to jump like a silly high schooler?"

"Yep, me along with you."

"You are nuts Shinra."

"Sure, but not as much as you are happy, still; I may not be able to jump like how you wished but I can tell I'm glad you two are dating."

!

…

And that is almost impossible to happen. I beamed.

"Fuck it, Shinra-"

A PDA screen was shoved in front of my face abruptly, blocking my peripheral vision [_Are you playing with Shizuo this time, Izaya?_]

I had a million reasons why I shouldn't answer; I had my own reasons why I found the accusation really felonious. "I'm not"

And when I thought I was having fun with the quack, I still couldn't blame her for her worried state, Shizu-chan was her friend and having an infamous individual as me close to her friend could be… disturbing. Still, Shizu-chan and I were always relatively close, and not in a friendly manner, why would she worry?

[_I won't let you hurt him_.]

I snarled "As if he was invalid, Celty. Shizu-chan could easily snap my neck if he wanted, why the worries?"

Her first tightened, but I remained cool, the PDA was again shoved in front of me [_You know that's not what I meant_]

My lips curled a little bit, I knew she heard me and Shinra, "And then I repeat; I'm not playing around."

She typed again [_Izaya, I warn you, playing with someone's heart is disgusting and low, wouldn't be a surprise coming from you_]

I laughed "Harsh words for a lady-"

Her black dimness and shades surrounded my neck in form of a dangerous rope and stiffened harshly, emphasising the current threat [_Shut up, I'm being serious_]

My pose didn't falter; my face contorted with what I could call my most precious masquerade, my leer was as barbarous as ever, the subterfuge was perfect, my eyes beamed viciously "I am being serious too, _Celty…_"

Her grip around my neck tightened and at this state I didn't care for Shinra's begging voice, all I knew is that my irises were focused on her helmet's polarized black glass, focusing on whatever instance of a sight that I could find. [_If you break his heart, I'm having your head for it_]

I could easily make a swaggering and boastful remark about, how could she wish for someone else to suffer her same destiny… but that would be playing too much with her endurance, not to say my own life's safety.

Her shadows let my neck go. The stingy ardor she left made me howl quietly, it would surely leave a mark; she was serious about Shizu-chan.

I don't know what made her liberate me, as far as I know I didn't surrender to her in any second, as much as she would hate to hear it but I was never afraid of her, or maybe I trusted too much in her heart's mercy. With the threat still lingering in the heavy space, I saw how Shinra murmured something to her before she left us alone.

…

"Sorry for th-"

"I better go."

Shinra sighed and approached me "Izaya, I'm sorry. Oh God! Look at those marks! Sweet Celty was merely concerned about Shizuo, she knows how evil you can b-"

"I never cared if you believed in my intentions or not, more less Celty, I never needed it, but I'll ask just this once… Do _you_ think I'm playing?"

His flabbergasted state abruptly relaxed.

…

His eyes softened "With all my honesty…"

Shinra smiled.

"I know how true this _is_, especially for you."

Of course, he was always the only one aware of this disarray. "Then that's enough for me."

…

Just for a second, my grin faltered "Izaya…" I heard him say, I waved my hand at him.

"That's truly enough for me."

With those words out of my mouth, I turned to him and something else lingered in my head, something like a "_thank you_", but as I turned again in the door's direction about to leave I realized those words were never spoken, not out of my mind.

…

"Wait!"

…

I turned again to face him, "Hey that was a good departure scene Shinra, what the hell do you want?"

…

"You said we could speak about my lack of "mhm" with Celty." Seriously, just how childish he could be? Did he just seriously say "mhm"?

"Shinra…" I warned still smiling dauntingly.

"I need to speak about it all!"

….

"Please…" he begged.

"But out of your apartment, I don't want to lose my head…"

He grinned joyous.

Well, shit.

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

This seriously sucks.

"Oh come on Shizu-Shizu!" Erika pushed me along with Walker; we were currently in a random mall to buy some shit Erika said was necessary for the plan.

"Oooh! This one! This one!" and yes, we were at a plushies' store, and no, it wasn't my idea. I seriously hated both.

"This one Shizu-Shizu!" Erika pointed at a big mouse plush with big watery-like eyes, it had a heart at the bottom and it begged to be hit.

"Buy him this one better!" Walker said as he pointed at a pink bear with a heart-mouth and a little bear attached to the right, it also begged to be hit.

"Oh no! So cute! Buy this one!" Erika insisted on the big mouse while Walker frowned and hugged the pink bear to his chest, also insisting on that one.

And I seriously came to the conclusion the plushies really begged to be killed.

I adverted my gaze and without noticing; I rested my sight on a rather strange plush, was that a monster? I approached the stuffed creature and picked it up.

Big desorbited eyes with a strange irregular-toothed saccharine smile and little horns, stood right in front of me, the whole stuffed monster could be horrendous for many, but I kind of liked it.

It was all alone with no visitors or any willing child to buy it. No lovers and no dreamy stares to his direction, and maybe this creature was the only I could give without feeling hypocrite with my own likes.

"I'm getting this one" I mumbled quietly, not caring if Erika and Walker heard. I directed myself to the cashier; she gave me a rather strange look for my new acquisition.

OOOO

"But it's horrible! He will finish you, because that monster is damn horrible!" Erika pouted as we walked through the mall, "Shizu-Shizu even a frog would be better than that."

"Flea likes monsters."

_Did I just make fun of myself?_

"What?"

"Nothing…"

"Excellent!" Erika kicked the floor with her right foot as she moved her hands exasperated. "Now you are mumbling shits we both can't hear!"

Walker agreed as he nodded and frowned and looked in my direction, I couldn't hide my amusement as I grinned, especially for what I just said.

_Yes, I did._

"Shut up already." I growled; my hands held securely the medium sized blue monster with little printed pink dots all over the body. Who knows what hell would break loose if I lost my new attainment, it was unique after all.

_Be grateful you stupid flea._

Somehow, thinking about the plush and Izaya made me gloomy, for some well-known reason, I didn't want to give the plush to him, especially since he didn't deserve it. I wish I could keep it; it was a pity they were recording me at anytime.

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**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

Why him?

I closed my eyes.

Memories… so many memories… so many years ago.

…

_Why him…._

"_I guess you have always been a coward."_

_I cringed as Shinra wrapped the gauze tightly around my arm, "Excuse me?"_

"_I'm simply answering your question."_

"_Which question?" I was sitting in my bed with my torso bandaged for a few broken ribs and my arm trapped in a rigid casing. _

"_The one you made when I came." _

_The one whe-_

_I instantly understood, and actually the question wasn't even directed to Shinra, the question was to the infinites depths of mystification, the ones that never had an answer as to why did I fell for the brute who caused all this physical damage, and more than that._

_The incomprehension of my little perplexities would never be fulfilled. I was baffled and abandoned in my own mind._

_Questions…_

_Too many questions…_

_Too many unnecessary answers… and so few important responses…. _

_I knew why he hated me, though not from the very start, but the later circumstances acknowledged me as to why he hated me, at least at the moment. I knew why he hit me in this occasion, I knew why he didn't care that he broke my ribs and arm, I knew why he would laugh if he knew he made me stagger down so much that lowered me enough to spill my tears for him and I also knew why I had only one witness and eider down over all this shit… _

_But I didn't know why I felt this way for him. _

_And so I kept repeating why, __why__, __**why**__…. And maybe Shinra heard, it's not that I asked aloud, or did I? He came to patch me up, because, I didn't want to tell my parents, or was it because the question was written in my eyes? If you paid enough attention, or if you minded enough… Or was it easy to tell? Was it actually necessary that you wanted or care about Orihara Izaya to know that a highly developed God was floundering down?_

_No… No I couldn't let myself do that… I- Was I getting feeble?_

_Then today I would promise myself that those tears would be the last ones I would shed for him._

_At rest, I wouldn't let anyone know a thing about my internal debris._

"_I didn't ask you anything Shinra."_

"_You asked, why; I answer: because you have always been a big coward."_

"_Wh-"_

"_Your eyes are inflated, here; put the wet cotton over your eyes and they will stop blazing"_

_Tch._

"_It's okay Izaya, I'm not going to laugh, you know? Some of us humans have a heart over here…" _

_I took the cotton from his fingers and placed it on my swollen eyes "I didn't ask anything and I don't need your pity Shinra" _

_No current force, no burly remarks, I just wanted to sleep right now… "I can tell you keep on asking yourself, I know you enough to foresee it, true I would never keep on predicting you without failing but I'm sure this time I am right… Also I wouldn't pity someone like you Izaya, at a halt… I don't like to see you cry."_

…

_I growled, all my masquerades felt as if they were wrecked all over the floor, "I wasn't crying…" My voice was threatening; I could have done anything dangerous just to make him shut the hell up. _

"_You were, you still are… why you are always lacking courage, be brave enough to accept it Izaya..."_

_I touched my face with my free hand, expecting to find again some uninvited water drops but I was sure my skin was completely dry this time… why would he say I was crying?_

_Oh…_

_That's cheesy…_

_I felt my lips tremble, the agony building itself in my chest; I straightened my fallen gaze and lifted my chin, proudly defying Shinra, "why would you say that?"_

"_Because you are afraid of everything, even afraid to admit you are afraid…"_

_I snickered, "How does that explain my former question?"_

…

_Shinra smiled, and I definitely didn't like it._

"_As easy as to say that you are afraid of getting bored, getting bored of your own life, that's why you like Shizuo."_

…

"_Yeah sure? That's the stupidest thing you have ever said?"_

"_Isn't it clear? You like what you can't predict, you can't get used to the unpredictable and that's why you like the unknown and not just because humans are afraid of the unknown that's only a way to demonstrate you are superior, that you can face what's hidden and what one can't countenance."_

_He poked his spectacles with his index finger and continued, "You like him because you will never be able to predict what he will do next and that makes you long for him… but wasn't it obvious and a public information? Then why you keep on pestering yourself with that question?"_

_Because… that's not what I meant when I ask myself "why", it's much more subterranean…_

_I rested my back on the little pillow forte, "As if…" I snickered lowly, I chose to ignore the majority of his words and chose to reply to a few, I felt my classmate's gaze on me "deceit, I'm superior Shinra, it doesn't matter what I do…"_

_Shinra's next noise was similar to a sigh mixed up with a tired chuckle. "So you will try to change the topic now… huh? Will you ever give in to what's a fact for me?"_

_I gritted my teeth as he tightened the gauze, "guess not…" _

_A puff of air left his mouth while I disputed his theory with my stare, "I still think that's the verity of the state of affairs."_

"_My arm hurts…"_

"_Granted, you changed topic hm..?"_

"_Shinra," I warned, "It's not like I want to, and your analysis doesn't fulfill my doubts…"_

_My lips parted to show teeth in a rather devious smile, "the acquired sentiments can't be easily deciphered under a teenager like you. I find the whole situation oddly complicated to explain."_

_Because it was further than some psychology words, it was more than a few philosophical terms and it doesn't matter what he said, I would still feel the dullness of the unanswered doubts within my heart._

_It wouldn't matter what he said… I would always feel as if the inquiry would always and eternally be unanswered._

…_._

Really, I never knew why Shizu-chan…

Yes, you were always my biggest question and now I have another for you, "Why did you like me all of a sudden?"

…

"**KNOCK KNOCK"**

"Just as I expected…"

I never succeed in my expectations with this man but that's plainly what he thinks… but I did expect him to come. This wasn't like when he brought me flowers, this I foreseen, this I knew and this time I wouldn't proceed as if my upheavals got the best of me.

I grinned roguishly as I stood from the bed I was laying on. I went downstairs and dragged myself to the front door, not answering my usual "coming" nor any sign that I was near the door, I heard some impatient knocks and in a rapid move I opened it and with a devious smile I greeted at the blond monster I was _expecting_ to see.

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

I really hated this idea, the whole idea of buying some shit for him, was just disgusting, not just disgusting, it was… it was apocalyptic for me, and just revolting.

I gripped the monster plush even tighter, not even caring if the stuffed animal could easily exploit in my hands.

"**KNOCK KNOCK"**

That's when I focus my anger on him, and for worst; the sole fact that I couldn't lay a finger on him and try to swallow his sickening stench, it was enough for me to want to die.

"**KNOCK KNOCK"**

_God damn you louse, open the door! _

_Breathe Shizuo, breathe…_

I tried to relax; I can't look like if I wanted to rip his head off his shoulder, though that would be like being honest. Yesterday that we got a bit close I knew that it would be the only way to trick him.

The only way was being as counterfeit and false as I could manage. I hoped I got some actor's blood like my brother.

I relaxed my features as I let a fake smile creep on my lips.

I prepared myself for the most dreadful stench in this world.

"Shizu-chan…"

An impudent though buoyant smirk was printed over his lips; this was the very smirk that reminded me why I loathed this charcoal-haired man with all my heart. Those aggressive rouge eyes stared defiant at me, the confidence inside his eyes, rowdy and factually mutinous.

This was definitely, and unquestionably the Izaya I knew and hated. But I knew better, I can call this a mere show, an expected mask, a camouflage, and I'm sure I know how to make it crumble.

**OOOO**

**A/N: Guys Vv* I have been very busy really but as I promised; I'm here, posting hoping that you stop being that lazy xD guys, I updated at half the time I usually do, so review because what you haven't considered is that I have become the ultimate review slut, I mean, I'm real. I'm talking seriously, if I don't see reviews, then how you expect me to update? Anyways, reviews come to fuck me and I love it, so let's make a deal, shall we? You give me what I love, and I give you what you want… fair enough, isn't it? **

**You type in the review box and I do in the chapters…. Come on you click the favorite and follow button but can't you review?**

**It's up to you to accept the deal, if not then fuck you. NOT REALLY, I LOVE YOU GUYS…. Remember that! Don't hate your cocky author :) Anyways I am serious about the deal.**

**You review, and give me love …and I'll give you the next chapter sooner than you expect!**

**That's a promise!**

**But I'm real; guys if you don't review then I won't post anymore.**

**THANK you to all the reviewers, you already noticed how much I appreciate your comments, being this said I want to thank **

**Flesh Delirium****, Seriously you don't know how important is your opinion to me, thank you for being here following this story, I'm grateful, I love your reviews they always make me smile! Thank you so so much! **

**BeatoSama****, THANK YOU Thank you so much, I'm grateful, I am really grateful for your reviews, they always make me smile, I know you like this story and I take your opinion seriously. **

**I hope I have everyone here, sorry guys for not answering all of you here, I love you all, I really love you all and I read every review okay? Send you kisses and tell me if you liked the Monster Plush, oh and somebody asked me about what Shinra and Celty thought, like I told you, I take seriously every review and if somebody wanted this then here it is, hope you liked it.**

**Till next time (when we make deal about reviews exchanging chapters ;D)**

**Guys did you notice that my sister and I won't post, nor she, nor will I if you don't review? (Rapper face) **

**VenemousSyring.**


	8. Chapter 7: Carmine

**TITLE: **** RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan.**

**-LIBOBORRECE**

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Durarara!**_

_**Love my sis CHECK her out she is amazing *loves* "shirohime" :) **_

_**Special thanks to my BETA Shirohime´s – Shizaya stories- who will be making this possible. **_

OOOO

CHAPTER SEVEN:

**Carmine**

OOO

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_To be able to love and live in freedom means to be able to make godly decisions. To make godly decisions we have to surrender our egos and all the falsity and shame that goes with it._

James McGreevey

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**Izaya's POV**

**OOOO**

I like the scientific, methodical and systematic spirit, fortitude—the "investment off", the being sure but not too sure, the willingness on the way to surrender ideas whilst the evidence is in opposition to them: this is in due course very well—it always keeps the way beyond open—always gives existence, contemplation, love and fondness, the whole man, a likelihood, a new opportunity to try over yet again after a blunder, a mistake—after a wrong guess.

Almost immediately one finds that madness has worn you downhill. It's easier to do what it says than argue.

In this method, _it takes over your mind_. You no longer are acquainted with where_ it_ ends and where you begin. You accept it as true and believe whatever thing it says.

You do what it tells you, no matter how **extreme **or **absurd.** If it says you're valueless, worthless, insignificant you concur, have the same opinion. You plead for it to bring it to an end. You guaranteed to conduct yourself. You are on your knees before it, and it _laughs._

At least life had lately trained and skilled me undeniably that surrender, in its rest, was as honorable as _resistance_, particularly _if one had no choice._

…

I blinked.

-I was in such a state of mind that I shepherded my gaze on the stuffed blue animal as if the plush was the most horrible stuffed toy in the world; I grinned mockingly.

"Take it, damn it!"

"But Shizu-chan didn't offer it to me until now; I thought Shizu-chan brought his personal plushie here."

I saw his jaw tighten with frustration much to my amusement, "And why would I bring something like this, if not to give it to _you_! Damn it!"

…

_Oh?_

"There are some people who can't leave their infancies' objects behind, and I thought the plush was one of these so called infancies' ob-"

"Shut up!" He huffed and placed the plush monster by my side "Besides… I never even had any kind of plush!" Shizuo growled as he removed his blue tinted glasses and placed them on the upper edge of his black vest, I giggled mentally at his odd irritation.

Shizu-chan always seemed to be incensed by the simplest of things…

_How comical_

We were sitting side by side in the black leather couch of my living room, after some awkward meeting, Shizu-chan and I silently agreed to start a conversation in the couch, though the contemplation alone bothered me, I could make some effort without dropping what I had planned.

Just being me

_My strongest self._

I raised an eyebrow "Never had any toy? That's sad Shizu-chan"

His eyes pierced my mocking ones "I said "plush" I did had toys, but I never liked them."

"Oh? Guess you broke them easily."

…

He heaved a sigh.

"New ones quicker, because I got anxious." He said solemn, clearly unsure to keep on spilling information that could be used against him- in an innocent way of course-

By some means, it became amusing.

I laughed at the mental image "So Shizu-chan played with broken G.I Joe's?"

"Huh?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"You know, those masculine combat-soldiers toys, I guess yours had only one leg or at least, no hand." I grinned at him.

I saw how in a split moment his face filled with frustration, changed to a one more playful "Ah yeah…." He reminded and suddenly seemed as if the distant memory replayed in his mind, which caused a single laugh to bubble from outside his lips.

He continued, "All the time."

I beamed.

"Then you know that a plushie would have been more accurate for you since it would have difficulty being "broken" right?"

"As if, the only plush I had, I ripped his damn head off, it was a bear, but I didn't like the big smile he had over the face, it scared me at night."

I didn't know how the awkward atmosphere suddenly changed to this but I was clearly not uncomfortable with it.

I only chuckled before asking "You got scared by a bear's smile and proceeded to rip its head off?"

"You can say so, at that age I didn't mind," He grinned "Say flea, what kind of toy you enjoyed, curious about that"

"Would it be a surprise? I was and I'm a humble normal man" I flashed him a cocky grin but his response lacked from any kind of venom I usually expected from him.

"Normal and humble my ass."

"Why would you want to know?"

"Because I initially thought the flea- means _you_\- was-were just born as an entire flea and didn't get to be normal, but then I remember that you actually were a child and that you eventually played with normal kid's toys."

…?

"What the hell was that supposed to mean?"

"Means I'm curious, with what did you play as a child?"

…"Money brings information; got some cash and I'll spill"

"I have my fists, do they help?"

I raised my hands in an unnecessary act of peace "Easy, easy Shizu-chan, if you are curious, I'll tell."

He rolled his eyes to the side and moved his head in disapproval, "don't know why you take so much time in answering questions."

"Heh, guess it's also part of my job~"

"Iiii-zaya-kuuun" He warned me.

"Fine, fine Shizu-chan…" I sighed and moved my hands to explain the tiny size of the toys I liked "I used to like those little green soldiers, those cheap soldiers that came in a cylindrical package and if I was lucky enough I would find the little guns in a plastic bag in the same toy store."

"Oh?" Shizu-chan made a thoughtfully face and then grinned "Ah yeah, those little soldiers that had their feet joined to stand."

"Yeah I used to collect and care for a hundred of them, whenever my mother bought the grey ones, I placed them far from the greens as if they were the enemies, of course I was the leader and the grey's army size didn't compare to my army."

I shook my head at the memory, Shizu-chan laughed "And who the grey's army leader was?"

"Me"

He chuckled, "you kidding." His eyes widened humorously "What? I understand you were an only-son but, didn't you have neighbors to play with?"

"Yes I had, but I was a… rather solitary kid, didn't like the company because they wouldn't follow my rules."

"And those rules were?" Shizu-chan seemed curious but that only pleased me.

…

"I.**Always**.Win."

Shizuo-chan shook his head again, "No wonder why kids didn't like you."

I huffed tiredly, "I didn't need them Shizu-chan, I had every toy in the world whenever and whichever I wanted."

"It's not funny when you play alone."

…

_Ah yeah and who says that? Mr. popular?_

I howled mentally, "Say Shizu-chan, guess you played with millions of kids, that's why you can be so sure it was not funny, bet kids loved Shizu-chan." The comment sounded bitterer than I had expected.

"As if, actually nobody played with me, Kasuka never liked to play with me because I ruined his toys so I basically played by my own."

"Then how comes Shizu-chan dares to tell me it wasn't fun? What right giv-"

"Because I never had fun."

…

I stopped mid-sentence as he interrupted me yet-again but to be honest, his comment made me quiet.

…

He continued with a sigh, "I relinquished or rather quit playing, because firstly, nobody ever played with me so I got bored easily, it was no fun and secondly because my toys weren't the best of all… or I accidentally broke them"

…

I could feel a pang in my chest swelling, telling me ….I felt exactly the same.

…

That I felt… just like him and that I-I…

I sighed quietly….

I…

I **refuse** to admit I'm alike with him in any aspect.

My hands fisted…

"There's where we are **not** alike Shizu-chan," I leered, "While you felt miserable playing by your own, I felt powerful and while you got the cheapest toys, I got the best ones."

He growled, "Say whatever you want, it's never funny, it was never funny to be alone in a game where you need at least a companion."

_That's true Shizu-chan. _

"Well, a sole kid learns to have his fun by his own, isn't it? If not we would have traumatized people everywhere,"

He slumped on the couch and focused his eyes on the ceiling, his eyes relaxing, "Yeah, then maybe it was the toy's fault."

I sniggered, "The player is the key."

"Whatever…."

_And I get it very well…_

…

I guess we can't get that friendly too long right?

_Can we?_

"So, soldiers…"

I snapped my head towards him, "I'm sorry?"

"Don't know, that's so you…"

His eyes met mine but I could tell he wasn't irritated by our latest soft-bicker. Am I at defense? "Is that meant to be funny Shizu-chan?"

"Not at all… just saying, my favorite toy, those big cars with remote control, I used to put papers with messages to my brother, he wrote back and placed a new paper, so when I redirected my car to my own room, we could be constantly messaging the other."

I sighed, "So actually you didn't play alone."

…

_How lucky. _

…

"Well, if that is called a game, then it was an exception." He grinned as he stared far away from me, as if the memory was more pleasant than his current situation.

I frowned, a sudden envious disgusting feeling swelled within my body, I declined the fact that he got more fun while kid, I was happy knowing that at least I had better toys, "a pitiful game that is"

He was seemingly unaffected by my last remark and continued watching with melancholy at the ceiling, "No… A good one."

I suddenly stopped liking the subject; I didn't want to speak about toys anymore, "Shizu-chan how boring! I don't want to know about your strange games."

He chuckled much to my irritation, "Says the one whose game consisted in being both gang's master."

"Yeah whatever, can we change this boring and senseless topic?" He suddenly faced me and extended his arm now with the neglected plush tightly grasped.

"Yeah, but take this thing first!"

"No."

Had I known why I snubbed to take it at the moment, I would sound more confident.

"Why would you refuse to take a gift?"

"Yes, as much discourtesy it may show, I'm not willing to tak-"

"Take the damn plush!" Two big desorbited eyes were right ahead of mines as the whole toy was shoved in front of my face. Shizuo, having the plaything grasped by the stuffed neck, moved it playfully as to tease me to play with it.

_How childish._

I snorted and pushed Shizuo's arm away from me, with his arm, I also pushed the monster aside, still refusing to take it. "Has interrupting me become a hobby of yours Shizu-chan? That's rude I might add."

"Why don't you take it flea?!"

…

_Because if I take I'm afraid another stupid topic will emerge…_

"Because Shizu-chan hasn't offered it with politeness," I smirked lusciously "Or perhaps, I didn't like it."

Shizu-chan huffed clearly annoyed and with a twist from his arm, he had the plush's eyes locked with his, merely observing the whole toy. I wondered if Shizu-chan could communicate with it, they shared some similarities; cotton brain or non-existing br-

"Why not?"

…

I rested my back on the couch and slumped a bit while I moved my left hand in demonstrative circles "Because, it's a gift proper to give to Shizu-chan not me, if you managed to get a brain plush then I would accept it with joy, however I said "perhaps" so stop killing me in your head."

"No… maybe a stuffed Satan would suit you."

"Come again?"

"Nothing."

"Right," I straightened my back and leaned slightly to him, grinning mischievously "So Shizu-chan thought that a monster toy was fitt-"

"Yeah, that would make it personal."

…

_Personal?_

I couldn't help but join my lips together as to shut any other sound that could escape, that I didn't expect. Doesn't matter how surprised I was, my eyes only reflected amusement and a glinting playfulness, perfect for hiding my rapid astonishment.

Shizu-chan extended his arm again and offered silently the gift once more. I raised my head only to momentarily lock eyes with him; eyes that I never seen that calm before, though I could sense annoyance in them, I still could say with certainty these were the calmest that I have ever seen.

I reluctantly reached for the stuffed toy, cringing slightly as the furry and smooth surface brushed against my fingertips, "This truly is obnoxious, and Shizu-chan now thinks I'm a head-over-heels school girl who loves being pampered with gifts and chocolates."

The teddy monster was finally cradled between my arms, I felt as if the monster's eyes, for some strange reason longed for me, I unconsciously wrapped my arms around it and use it as a pillow to rest my chin on top of the monster's head, just like if I was at some slumber-crappy-party, the same as any girl would have done in those reunions with a pillow just to start gossiping.

"No but I liked the thing, also it was alone and nobody wanted it, thought that somehow you would like it, since being the weird-freak you are, you always manage to somehow like what everybody hates…"

_Yeah I find the plush_-I stopped grinning-

…

_What?_

…

"Shizu-chan…?"

He shook his head slightly and stared into my eyes and I was starting to feel outlandish, "Never mind…"

"What- wha-" I shook my head and placed the plushie aside, slowly crawled to him and stared into his troubled mocha eyes. "Is there a possibility that Shizu-chan feels he is like this monster? Is that it?"

…

"Shut up flea, just drop the subject, is nothing important." Somewhat aggressive eyes met mine as we stared into each other in an insolent encountering battle, wanting to see who dropped first.

…

…

…

I sighed at one thought I considered, I would never have. "Is that why you thought _it_ would be better with _me_?"

I was able to see a bizarre hesitation not to say the dominant frustration and anger in his orbs.

Somehow the plush epitomized Shizu-chan, in a very mournful and elegiac way.

…

I leaned slightly, "Is that a way to say _you_ are better with me…?" I spoke softly and I felt the insolent smile disappearing from my lips.

Even if I so meticulously crawled on top of him, straddling him and feeling a foreign feeling swelling in my chest, I wasn't bold enough to close the gap between our bodies by sitting on him. I just cupped his face between my hands and made him look into my eyes, "Is that it?"

We were so close but the air made a good job at separating completely our bodies from each other's, "Flea, what ar-"

"Answer me first…"

And to say in my mind, the always lack of spotlessness made its presence, this was one of the most misgivings-filled moment in my whole matter concerning Shizuo. My mind was defending itself from itself, attacking one side to the other, creating the greatest of confusions. Not that I would let it manage, as a promise to myself.

_Be my strongest self._

"I… I don't know…" He uttered, but this was mostly to let him now.

Let him know that nothing could take the best of me, and that I see no plights and dilemmas through all this.

To let him know in what he just walked in on.

His eyes piercing mine in a silent exclamation of confusion, this step I _wanted_ to give, this little gap between our worlds, I could disappear a little with him, just if we joined our mouths.

…

In fact, I wanted to kiss him…

Not for the cheesy and useless motives that led my precious humans to kiss, but because I wanted the ardor of resentment in my dull soul to intensify, because I loved how wrecked it felt, I hated it and I loved it at the same time.

Because I wanted to feel the inflammation of inner confliction, and I wanted Shizu-chan to feel my zeal, I wanted us to break that separating bridge that kept us from touching the other.

I wanted him to somehow admit what I was asking and I wanted to forget for a while that this was painful.

Because I contradicted myself with this fervor and vehemence, and I wanted Shizu-chan to follow me down, because if I'm giving up, then he is coming with me.

…

I wanted us to kiss…

…

I wanted to _seal_ us.

…

I wanted him to kiss me.

…

Not that I would let him know, how my mind twisted with overseas vengeful promises about how ignored my twisted affections went the whole time for him, and though I could make a deal with myself to let it go, the swaggering and swelling desires interfering with my proper thinking process, made me rest my forehead against his.

In fact, it felt bitter to finally get what I desired since so many years, or at least being near of my desires, full knowing his ignorance and sudden attraction made this possible, knowing that when it came to my feelings alone, it didn't make the difference; I could feel myself tearing into two poles, resentment and forgotten desires.

I leaned a bit more…

Our mouths felt like magnets attracting the other, slowly closing the gape. While I didn't gain the confidence to sit on him; I did move softly my thumbs over the skin of his cheeks in a soothing manner.

Our lips almost touching…

If only he knew how much I desired this. I desired this contract, this searing contract to be done. This sweltering for _us_ to be felt.

With all the enmity, umbrage and resentment in the world I could ever mutter these words to him. And just when I felt I was closing my eyes to wait until we were both sure we wanted to join our mouths, without prior notice he grasped my arms rather forcefully and shoved me aside, pushing me completely off him but being _careful _enough to place me on the couch.

_No…._

And that peeved me the most.

He stood, Without at word, without looking back at me, without fisting his hands, he walked to the front door and before I could react to anything else he shook his head without turning to face me, just shook it in negative.

I knew he wouldn't ask what was I doing, he wouldn't ask me `what the hell', he knew he should have let it happen, I know he knew this action could have been so simple for a couple, specially a starting one, I know he knew this was necessary… but somehow he still have written the damned question on his face. And I know he knew he should tell me why he refused…

I smiled.

And like always… it broke my heart.

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

Damn

Damn

_Damn_

**Damn**

"_You seriously screw this out, how comes you didn't let it happen."_

"_Shizu-Shizu! THAT was so wrong of you!"_

"_Ehhh… Shizuo I think you screwed it up."_

"_He'll find out something is wrong…"_

"_I can't believe you made such a fool's mistake…"_

"_Oh we won't get him like we wanted-"_

"**SHUT THE HELL UP!"**

I roared at the inter-communicator, aggressively yanking it away from my ear as I heard an annoying combination of everyone's voice of that god damned group.

With more auto-control than I thought I had, I placed the inter-communicator inside my pocket, accidentally touching my cigarettes pack. At least it was better than to carelessly destroy the little device, thought it was well deserved.

I inhaled and decided to put the cigarettes to use; they really soothed me when I needed it.

_Damn_

How would I fix this…?

Did I even want to fix it?

_Falsity_

Hollowness and deceptiveness…

Easy words to understand, to even wish, agree and allow the terms to make a performance in your actions… wishing you could do it, but being pissed at the reality; sucking at acting.

The second my sight landed on his lissome frame, every vein in my body boiled with rage and hostility towards him, trying hard not to grit teeth and forcing my brain to all its limits to put on a smile that faked elation and contentment to see him, tiredly aware of the stuffed monster in my fist.

I just can't stand him.

_I hate him._

I hate him so damn much…

….

….

Though with all my honesty placed together, I think I did a great job at relaxing around him, at least pretend.

…

I could see his vermillion eyes piercing with a determined and resolute glint that covered with a thin layer of fake amusement and joy.

_Back there…_

We stood staring at each other even if my attitude towards him turned to be a bit more friendly than he expect and even if we didn't exchange any affective physical contact as a greeting, he also surrendered at the friendly and still awkward atmosphere.

He ushered me to the couch and there we stood, between amused nonchalant smiles and insufferable teasing, seemingly forgetting we were enemies, asking the other stupidities, asking for tea with our eyes, I, expecting him to offer and he expecting me to ask for it, lowly glinting at the lack of courtesy between us; more likely convincing him to take my gift, to take the blue teddy toy.

Deceiving him unconsciously to take the gift to heart by saying it was more personal that way, uttering that I personally liked the monster but omitting the fact that I hated the idea of giving it to him.

Pretending not to feel affected by the simples but complex questions Izaya bombarded me with, such as _"Is that a way to say you are better with me?"_ Such a simple question to say, to answer was the level; when those roguish eyes softened with a strange sympathy and _completion_… as if he wanted me to say it, as if he wanted me to admit it.

As if he could somehow speak to my subconscious with those words… and I never put much stock in such ideas.

Then those carmine eyes glinted madly, as he crawled to me and got near, I could feel my heart beating strongly. I could smell him; I could feel revolute butterflies at the pit of my stomach as his hands caressed my face.

And I let him get close, and I could sense desperation, anxiety and hesitance…. I let his body flush against mine, I let his breath ghost over my lips, I let his humid lips taunt me with impulse, I let the warmth wrap me in the must sinful way.

… Until, until I felt _disgusted._

_**OOOO**_

**OOOOOO**

**AN/ Yeah, so short but I wanted to update. Thank you for your kind reviews, let me know if you liked the chapter, I'm really sorry for the shortness, and also HAPPY NEW YEAR! –LATE / but anyways, hope you enjoyed your vacations- if you had any- So I'll try to update faster this time. Maybe longer…that if the circumstances let me. Sorry we could see so little of Shizu-chan but I'll try to make it up for you in the next chapter :) Hope you understood Izaya, I don't want to confound you guys.**

**Isn't this amazing how this couple can be surrounded by amusement and mockery and in a slight second can be filled with antagonism and resentment? totally love Shizaya. **

**THANK YOU for those guys that added a lot to my reviews number by reviewing every single chapter :D I really am a lucky author.**

**Hope you enjoyed, PLEASE review, they always make my day. I wanted to make a special dedication for this chapter:**

"**Flesh Delirium****" this chapter goes for you, thank you very much for your constant support and interests in this story, your reviews are always important for me. They make me super happy. Sorry that I didn't answer you personally this time, have been lacking of time but you are welcome to ask as much as you want. AND AGAIN thank you very much; I really take to heart your reviews**

**Guys, feel free to ask me whatever you want about the story. I love every single one of you *loves***

**And Guys thank you ALL for waiting and putting up with me, now I'm such a bad updater… sighs…. Well well, I´ll be updating SOON, keep stunned.**

**Review and follow**

**VenemousSyring**

**-LIBOBORRECE**


	9. Chapter 8 : Chary

**TITLE: **** RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan.**

**-LIBOBORRECE**

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Durarara!**_

_**Special thanks to my BETA Shirohime´s – Shizaya stories- who will be making this possible. Really guys check her out, her stories are amazing.**_

OOOO

CHAPTER EIGHT:

**Chary**

OOO

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_Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind._

_**William Shakespeare**_

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

"You have honesty and integrity – have portrayed that the truth matters... that you don't take shortcuts or play by your own set of rules... and you think your success doesn't count unless you earn it fair and squared."

"Huh."

"Shinra said so. Shizu-chan you are a good guy after all…"

"'_Good' _Yeah, right… and what the hell do you mean by "Integrity", don't go all fancy on me."

A chuckle.

"Let's just say, it's something you have…"

"What I'm trying to say is that you don't apprehend me, in any aspect. Even if it's me we are speaking about, you wouldn't do anything vindictive, -I mean _just_ for malevolent purposes-, if we go in line with that you sort of like me."

"…"

"But then again, there are things to make clear."

I puffed smoke from the cigarette in my hand, "Don't get you." I turned my gaze at him, "you aren't mad."

Another laugh from him, for me it sounded bitterer than I think he intended.

"Would be stupid, it's not as if you would mind. After all, I'm not a delicate piece of flesh and heart."

More like if he even had one. I nodded, "Maybe-"

"To resent you such a thing would be like drinking poison and wait for you to die."

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said, intoxicating myself won't kill you. It happens the same with feelings."

"Ah."

"Shizu-chan, I'm not waiting for anything less than a mordant relationship with you, I'm clear. I'm not an expertise in that."

"Thought you were,"

"Because I sleep around?"

"You do?"

"Indeed."

"I heard rumors. Never minded with who you slept."

"Neither did I, about me, that is."

"That says much."

"It does? How so?"

"I meant; it says much about how you innerly work. You don't get attached easily it seems."

Izaya laughed, "Isn't something I thought Shizu-chan could say. Who would have guessed that you could intend to read through me?"

"Why? Because you think I'm stupid? Believe me, I don't care much"

Izaya's lips stretched in what I could tell was a sour smile, "Not at all, still I won't change much in a relation, I guess."

I smiled, thought my smile was more to myself than to him, "I thought you were a human's freak, how comes you can establish a relation with one?"

"Ah. I prefer to be inconspicuous in terms of participation, at the same time ubiquitous. Like the scientific observer of Nature is a kind of mystic seeker in the act of prayer. I like to-rather- prefer, to step out Shizu-chan. I'm not just in preference, but I'm able to do so."

"Eh-"

"That means that I have the necessary knowledge to define as many terms as you please, but if we are speaking about Orihara Izaya and not about "The Observer" then I might add that Orihara Izaya is selfish and he can please himself and step out at the same time. Throughout sex, while speaking, you name it."

"You mean, you-"

"It answered your question I guess, also, Orihara Izaya is a "human's freak", and Shizu-chan is a monster after all."

I growled.

I had more questions than answers now.

"But back to the main topic Shizu-chan…"

"What about it? You are not angry, what else?"

"You are not being honest."

I froze up.

"What do you mean?" My eyes once again turned to him.

"Well Shizu-chan is faking"

My eyes remained at peace and my hands felt cold, I puffed more smoke.

"How so?"

His hand almost shyly placed on top of mine, for instinct I retracted mine. Shit.

"Exactly that"

He continued, "Stop forcing yourself. I believe you."

This time I let my eyes widen comically, "What do you mean?"

"It's almost like a bad acted-movie."

"…"

"Look at you now, totally different from the man you want to portray when you force yourself to act falsely, I don't want that."

"Oh… I-"

"I said so before, I believe you, might as well be my fault as I forced you to repeat some childish words. You keep on pushing yourself to make me believe a surreal fantasy where you no longer exist."

"Izaya I am not getting you at all."

"That time when you pushed me to the fridge, I did feel good, I wanted and expected you to kiss me, but I kind of, lost from sight the brutal rage that made me sink into this infatuation."

"I-"

"When you let that acted-cozy part of you invade your senses, you stop being Shizuo, feels as if it´s forced beyond your will and I wouldn't like that, as much as I enjoy inflicting turmoil on you. I wouldn't want to share a relationship where I no longer know you."

"I think I-"

"Let me finish, "

"…"

"That time where you gave me that plush -though we fell into a hectic conversation- was one of the most alien moments shared with you. What I want you to understand is that you no longer need to make those out of character presentations."

"Izaya-"

"Where you think you pamper me with flowers or plushies, I refuse to accept that. I don't want them. I don't want you to suddenly act like some teenager in love willing to make his partner blush and squirm under him."

"…"

"I want your rage, I want your most brutal gaze, I want your harsh words and mostly like lack of gentleness, because that's what we are. That's what I want and I know you want."

"…I…"

Izaya leered disastrously "I want us to be the same with nothing more than saying that we belong to the other's body and that as atrocious as we can turn, I can still utter how much attracted to you I feel."

Who would say that he would follow me to the roof of my apartment's building? I didn't even bother to look around me when I heard his voice in the first place, that's why it surprised me when I heard the fidgeting of a plastic bag. I didn't know he brought it in the first place.

"That's why I can't accept this."

This time I dared to look what he was handing; the monster plushy.

I breathed in. "Izaya you can kee-"

"I don't want it."

I shook my head and was about to take it when he retracted it, "Shizu-chan, the Shizu-chan I know, didn't get me this. It wasn't for me. As comical and_ personal_ as you wanted to portray and presented it to be, this is emptier than a white room."

He handed it to me correctly this time.

The wind gushed through our hair, "As for the touchable topic, I also don't expect to ever hear again some tacky convincing words from you, if I ever hoped for reciprocity, I was aiming at some harsh kiss in a dirty alleyway."

"Reciprocity?"

"Aye."

I gulped.

I fiddled, the plushie in my hands, turning it over to better inspect it, I didn't dare to look next to me where Izaya sat, our legs dangling from the edge.

"Neither if we can build a stable relationship; I really would expect anything but not mildness. I'm fine with that. You don't need to watch for your words, they won't track down anything, as long as I'm myself, I'll linger intact to your brutal frame of mind, which led me here with you. I'm not fragile at heart."

"What if you stop being yourself?" It shocked to think it was the first sentence I could speak without feeling unyielding about it. It rolled awkwardly since I wasn't a worried willing-to-be-lover.

Izaya huffed some kind of chuckle, "That day you will also stop being Shizuo, we can deal with an otherworldly constancy in ourselves, reliability to keep with the other, that is. But if it ends, it will end; we won't force it to keep it together."

Wind was blowing at my right, where Izaya sat, I was smothered in his scent, "I see."

"As for corporeal contact, I don't cherish such things, I'm not into kisses and hugs, I prefer to be away from them. I can be purely sexual by all means. It's also part of who I am, it's not your deal, but if I can sleep with you, I'm not going to avoid it. I don't expect to make love with you- if that's how some call it."

"You mean love and sex are not in the same line?"

"I meant; that even there I don't expect you to change who you are, I'm not into painful sex, but I know what I can have from a brutal strength like yours, wouldn't like you to restrain yourself with me no less."

"…I see."

"And back to what you did just ask… I am positive I can't answer you properly, I have never had sex with someone I love."

I chuckled, "Did you just accept you don't know something?"

"Indeed, you make me confess such sins Shizu-chan. Accurately unacceptable!"

"I can say."

Some silent breathing and closing eyes to feel the surge of wind, a -strange to admit- comfortable silence filled the atmosphere.

"Say Shizu-chan…"

"Hm?"

"Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Have sex with someone you love?"

"No."

Seemingly my answered question left him quiet for a couple of minutes.

"I would also wait for mutuality,"

"Huh?"

"I will believe you from now on without hearing stupid prospects of affinity with just the simple thread of mutuality, which is, you accepting me as I am, by don't expecting me to be less me just because I want you."

"I…"

"I was stupidly getting hurt by your unsympathetic gazes since I felt they were hardly any sincere according your confessed attraction for me, which was foolish by the time. I didn't analyze it earlier. What I didn't evaluate was that those hard gazes were more sincere and genuine than some roses or some idiotic words whispered in my ear."

"Oh…"

"I didn't understand until I tasted the cozy side which tasted bitterly hypocrite."

"Izaya-"

"At the time, I was unwisely waiting for any thin line of kindness and sudden wellbeing between us that for the said-time being was registered under kindness. I unnecessarily hurt my own guarded consciousness saved for the moment I hoped it would come true-which was the moment my feelings would be shared. I hurt myself."

"…"

"That's why this noon I am contradicting myself with asking you to be yourself and not anymore that fraud man which doesn't taste like Shizuo. To feel happy for any stupid kindness will take me down faster than I expect. I better glue to the earth's format and stay expecting the side I am most fascinated about you."

"Wow… I didn't know it hurt you."

"My mistake to say at least, at some point, what I am doing at this precise moment is to retract my inner thoughts back there between all our past encounters, which were highly different from habitual and that's why at some extent, bothers me more than I thought possible."

"It's as if you spoke to yourself."

"Aye, indeed it is."

Minutes ticked and I just didn't know how much I needed this conversation until it happened.

"What I am seeking for the time being is the taste of how naturally our hostility is driven, but at the same time, I want to taste the natural freedom that fascinates the other."

"Acceptation?"

"Exactly. I will be myself and you will be you. I don't want nonsense and sparks of innocence tainting our perception of the other, if you get what I mean; I'm also including sex beforehand."

"Oi, oi, I got it, no need to be repetitive."

He heaved a sigh, "I just don't want us to fall into some frail fantasies, which in the end will only c-"

"Izaya, you sound as if you try to convince yourself more than me."

"What's to convince here? I'm just laying the cards on the table."

"Well, you kind of fell into some stupid "fantasy" before we had this conversation."

He laughed acrimoniously, "You impress me Shizu-chan, very perceptive. I did, but as you can tell, for that's my interesting psyche, to analyze what should be the right option to follow. My blames." He threw his hands in the air. "Woe is me."

"Heh, you are being honest I can tell."

"My pride is hurt! For I have never lied to Shizu-chan before."

"Heh, liar."

He retreated his dangling legs and pushed them up until his knees were on his chest; I wondered if he was not afraid of falling.

"I hope you paid extra attention to my wor-"

"You want me to be just "Shizu-chan" and you want to be just "The annoying Flea" You don't want to feel as I feel I'm walking on thin egg-shells-which they are thin without saying "thin" neither you want to feel like it."

I continued "You want us to be exactly the same without alterations; you want us to be as realistic towards the other as possible. You want us to be aggressive and ruthless- I add that this point it's not because you are masochist, it's because that _is_ what defines us, and you want acceptation, not because you enjoy pain" I smiled, "And you don't want to be pampered like a high schooler girl not because you hate it, it's because you don't feel it's me."

"My," He closed his eyes and smiled, soon enough his eyes were open, vibrant and as infrared as never before "Exactly that Shizu-chan."

Some comfortable silence settled between us, without knowing, I left the plushy in the floor of the roof, I didn't intend to but the stuffed toy was secure and in no danger of falling off.

We watched the burgundy dawn fall over our heads; we didn't speak and just enjoyed the other's company, at least knowing that I was enjoying something as beautiful as the cerise skies with a companion made me smile.

As far as I could tell Izaya was more bewitched in the city than in the russet and florid sanguine skies present to us. It didn't bother me at all. His scent was brought and taken away from my nostrils with each wind's slap and I found myself wondering.

This conversation had every sense in the world, I just wondered if, had any of this was real for me in the first place, would it have tasted harmoniously as it seemed to appear on Izaya's face? Because for me, the sincerity and depth of it all just let me sink in how big and deep this mess I got myself was, and it was an acidic taste to sample.

Had I known Izaya thought this way, I doubted I would have done something like this, and just like I think Izaya saw clarity between us now, I felt clarity of my own thoughts, I truly didn't want any of this.

Because it sounded good.

But also, it was perfect for the plan and I found myself unable to decipher my own feelings. To think that in the way Izaya exposed the new steps I found myself comfortable with them, created new confusion.

To think that it could work in the way he exposed it.

But I had to make this, this time I saw the immensity of the problem, this wasn't a childish revenge as I thought it was.

This was… horribly complicated. I wasn't backing off, but I didn't want to step forward, not with the same animosity as before. The problem was that we were just starting.

…

We saw the night fall and stars wash our eyes, we were ever so silent, I think we needed the silence that settled after the conversation, I finally stood up.

"Let's get back; I think I could send you to fuck off to your apartment, but mine it's just under us."

He was seemingly surprised at the silence breaker sentence.

"Heh," He sneered. "What? You want some awkward sex now?"

"Don't push your luck flea, I'm just offering tea."

"Heh. That's new; I have a preference for coffee if you have some."

"Fine, but don't touch anything."

"Sounds fine by me."

He stood up and we both forgot the plushie on the floor, it´s not that I would offer it again; he wouldn't accept it and I didn't have room to keep some meaningless toy in storage.

We started walking downstairs until we were walking downwards the floors of the building, my apartment was somewhere in the middle of it. I grinned amused as he cared enough to break the silence.

"As for "_The annoying Flea_" it has never been that! It was only "_Flea_"!"

"Not in my head."

**OOOO**

**AN/ **I'm alive! Sorry for the delay. Please review, It makes me happy :D really sorry for the super tardiness, I promise I'll update sooner this time, I'll try to be fast :D Hope you like this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

PS: Guys check my new story, "Rotten Vermillion" I'm just starting, but you are going to like it *hearts* LOVE YOU ALL, and I appreciate so much your kind reviews.

**-LIBOBORRECE**

VenemousSyring


	10. Chapter 9: Apprehension

**TITLE: **** RABBIT HOLE**

**Summarize:**** They are all sick of Izaya; they made a little secret group with Shizuo to try to break the informant and after concluding that no physical harm will bring Izaya down they all turn to count on Shizuo to make Izaya fall for him. They will record every move and breath; every secret and every vulnerable fiber of the informant in order to expose Izaya on the screens of Japan.**

**WARNING:**** Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some sexual themes, the rating may change in the future.**

**RATE:**** T (May change in the future)**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Durarara!**_

OOOO

CHAPTER NINE:

**Apprehension**

OOO

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**Grief **has limits, whereas _apprehension _has none. For we grieve only for what we know has happened, but we feel anxious and apprehensive because we _fear_ all the possibilities that **could **happen.

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**Shizuo's POV**

**OOOO**

"Is that supposed to be a stipulation? Are we going to work with Conditionals?" His sharp beam had the false inkling of a mannequin impressing something very much alive. "Is Shizu-chan conditioning our _divine _relationship?"

"Yes. And don't do _that_ with your eyelashes."

Izaya laughed out loud, "_This_?" He batted his eyelashes once more, "Why, if we are speaking about our oh-so-_glorious_ relationship, why not flirt bits?"

I grunted.

"I do remind you Shizu-chan; that albeit of what your protozoan-like brain understood from our prior little chat, you still asked first for_ this_ and due to evident reasons you shouldn't be placing conditions as if I forced you to-"

"Right, wanna listen to them?"

"Oh, are there more?"

"…"

"Do enlighten me."

"You have to answer whatever I ask-"

"I beg to differ."

"I meant; Orihara Izaya is going to answer, the observer and his job can go fuck himself"

"And why would I be so mild to endow you with precise information about myself?"

"You will."

"Foresee I would lie if I were to accept"

"You will not."

"Aye, we noticeable learned to know each other in these past 8 years. Yay, chasing the other to death might as well be the future's key to know and trust your partner by heart."

"…"

"Shall we sell our secret to therapists, Shizu-chan?"

"As for the third and last conditional; don't touch my things, unless I hypothetically gave you permission to do so; however I think I doubt I would let you touch my stuff."

"So muuuuch to steal and admire, Shizu-chan is such a sophisticated amoeba. I'm a kleptomaniac, be aware of my mental state."

"Izaya-"

"Let me get this straight," He grinned and used his fingers to dictate his numeric count "**First **rule, won't share stuff. **Second,** I'll tell everything you want to know and **third **as if Shizu-chan couldn't be more stupid, basically don't share stuff-_again."_

"There are notable differences-"

"Right," He smirked at me while he sipped on the coffee I formerly offered, "Oh Dear me, So seems like I will be interrogated by a beast, while trying to establish a relationship-"

"You are being so honest its starting to get awkward"

Izaya started to laugh as he slumped on the couch we were currently sharing-my first rule was now on the trash bin-"Why, I just want to the know the strict reason as to why would you be interested in my humble past-"

"Knowing each other."

"These interruptions are getting often and Oh! I'm privileged Shizu-chan! that means I'm allowed to ask as well."

"Don't see the inconvenience in that, so fine by me."

"I still haven't agreed Shizu-chan. One thing means wanting you as a whole, a different matter means trusting you and vice versa, I think we would both agree on that."

"…"

"Mind if I ask; would you sleep with me at night?"

"Whatever you mean with that,"

"I meant; would you stick yourself in a cliché situation, where we share a bed while you sleep on my legs as I fondle your hair?"

"I don't think so."

"Neither would I."

"I don't get you."

"What I mean is that we can not disclosure such a brittle state in obverse of the other; weather it's for shame or supremacy conscription."

He leaned a bit to put back the coffee cup on the table and turned his eyes into red aggressive slits, the color itself screeched danger; a danger I could easily cope.

"What the fuck."

"The intellectual power is never at rest; it is never satisfied with any comprehended truth, but ever proceeds on and on towards that truth which is not comprehended. So also the will, which follows the apprehension; we see that it is never satisfied with anything finite."

We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.

"…" I sighed, "And so you are incapable of trusting people."

He laughed indignantly and reached once more for the cup and I was starting to notice the cup was empty since two or three sentences ago.

"Pardon me, I have a blank space of the day we started to trust in the other. And my, my Shizu-chan… Trusting people? Wasn't it you the one who had those issues?"

"And now you are getting defensive, I agreed to your policies of this fucked up relationship, I agreed in getting away from the absurd delicacy but you also will agree with mines."

"And you will enlist them as some kind of requirements to follow so you feel I, Orihara Izaya, deserve your chance?"

"Not actually."

"Inculcate me otherwise."

"I like to trust in the people I have around, and you will be one of these people, I like them to trust in me and that's all I want."

"…" The scheme of the regular conversation was suddenly instable, as I perceived hesitation in his answer, "You are diminishing again in this senseless cozy and hypocrite speech. I don't believe you."

Izaya didn't even flinch when I punched as hard I could the coffee table; my frustration was riling up, "Hypocrite speech? That's the fucking reason we wouldn't even make sense, you don't fucking know me at all!"

He leered, "Oh, was I supposed to? Counsel me in how am I suppo-"

"By fucking trusting in me!"

"Heh, what the f-"

"I don't want to be lonely if we are going to be together."

"Lonely?"

"Yes. What loneliness is lonelier than distrust?"

And we lost eye-contact; the funny part was that the coffee table seemed to deserve his complete concern.

… To imagine I was starting to think that he didn't mind the destruction I left.

Apparently yes.

**OOOOOO**

**A/N: **

For the reasons on my profile (Sorry, I know I sound rude) I think I might be leaving the Shizaya fandom.

Have a great day.

VenemousSyring.


End file.
